Page 30 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Disney's "Harmonious" weather-control devices. Photo courtesy of, used by permission.

Disney moves weather control machines into World Showcase Lagoon

Finally, proof of the long-rumored Disney weather technology. E.P.C.O.T. CENTRE, FL -- As Disney struggles with the dome over Walt Disney World, they have made the bold move to bring the machines they use to control the weather into full view of guests. The devices were originally thought to be part of a new nighttime spectacular rumored to debut at EPCOT [Ed.: Can't believe fireworks were cancelled under this woke culture]. But Uncle Walt's Insider can now confirm that the new structures in ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney President. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Chip Gaines to become head of Imagineering

He could be in charge of demolishing every unoriginal attraction. Hmm... BURBANK, CA -- With the recent news that longtime Disney Imagineer Joe Rohde has left Walt Disney Imagineering, ostensibly to go play with cruise ships trains spaceships, there is a rare opening for the head Imagineer. Our sources have told us that the new head of Imagineering will be WDI consultant Chip Gaines. Bob Weis [Ed.: No relation to Charlie], President of Walt Disney Imagineering, told Uncle Walt's Insider that "while we ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk joins Disney Imagineering as creative consultant

One person in America still has original ideas. GLENDALE, CA -- Elon Musk has joined Disney's Imagineering as a creative consultant. [Ed.: Didn't we just say that in the headline?] Uncle Walt's Insider found that the move came after Disney was looking for some sort of ideas for new attractions to put into the parks, but admitted they were out of original ideas and could only turn to Hollywood. And then they discovered that Hollywood is also out of original ideas. Disney (the company) spokesperson ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Create a WDW touring plan without Fastpass+?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: I'm a little confused. I want to create a touring plan for the four parks at Walt Disney World, but all of the online advice talks about using Fastpass+ reservations. Can you give me a current touring plan?" - ... Read more
"Father," in the middle of a racist and homophobic rant, probably. Photo by SteamFan [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Another attraction gets woke – meet the new “Carousel of Progressives”

Welcome guest contributor Vier Eiken to Uncle Walt's Insider! No, he's not getting paid. BAY LAKE, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, Jello Factory, and Dog Track announced today that, in keeping with its commitment to inclusion and tolerance, the "Carousel of Progress" will be reimagined. The newly updated attraction will reopen in May after extensive changes. We reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), who was able to confirm the upcoming changes. While full details were ... Read more