Fire sale at the Disney Company! VINITA, OK — Sources say Disney CEO Bob ‘Bob‘ Iger, eager to raise capital for the struggling entertainment company, is quietly selling off pieces of the company. Money-losing parts of the company such as ABC, Freeform, FX, and Kathleen Kennedy are up for sale. And the latest piece of…
The intelligence community is really into sugar-free cooking, apparently. CASTAWAY CAY, BAHAMAS — Picture yourself aboard the magnificent Disney Fantasy cruise ship, where dreams come true, enchantment knows no bounds, and your bank account never recovers. Amidst the grandeur and wonder, an unexpected twist unfolds – you spy [Heh] a mysterious dessert labeled “NSA Apple…
![Wait, who was taking this picture? Photo by U.S. Indo-Pacific Command [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr; inset photo by Kjersti Holmang [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikipedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/disney-nuclear-missile-launch-biden-animatronic-768x403.jpg)
We told you not to bring nuclear launch codes to the Magic Kingdom! USS TENNESSEE, ATLANTIC OCEAN– In a shocking turn of events, a nuclear missile was accidentally launched from the USS Tennessee in the Atlantic Ocean yesterday. The apparent culprit? None other than the Joe Biden audio-animatronic at Walt Disney World’s Hall of Presidents. The…
Better get your bathroom breaks scheduled early. BURBANK, CA — During the recent earnings call, temporary Disney CEO/Grand Poobah Bob “Bob” Iger revealed the next big celebration coming to Disney Parks and Resorts. The new “There’s a reservation for that!“® marketing campaign will highlight all of the fun ways you can experience Disney Parks and Resorts,…
You ask. We answer let an AI answer. From our inbox: “I read your article from 10/2020 that Disney broke ground on land for a new theme park in Texas, but a previous article you did mentions it rumored to be moving to Oklahoma. Is there really a Disney theme park coming to Texas? If so…