Looks like we can unlock the stalls with our Magic Bands!
BR'ER BANK, CA -- Disney Grand Pooh-bah Bob "Bob" Chapek has found a new way to gouge guests raise revenue and please shareholders.
"Some of our executives thought we were running out of ways to bilk our... I mean, encourage spending in Disney parks," Chapek told Uncle Walt's Insider in an interview that we totally did not make up. "We've taken away free MagicBands, Fastpasses, luggage pickup and delivery, airline check-in and ...
We're already booking our plane tickets.
TOOWOOMBA, AUSTRALIA -- The government of Australia has figured out how to counter the protests against their aggressive anti-Covid policies: marketing.
"That's right," Down Under (the country nickname) spokesperson Jun Under (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "When we rip someone out of their home and ship them to a 'camp' based on a health scare, for some reason a lot of folks didn't like it. I mean, not just the ones we're locking up, but other ...
So many changes to keep up with. And some of them might make sense!
BR'ER BANK, CA - There have always been standards that Disney Cast Members have to meet.
For example, there once was a restriction against facial hair, except for a tasteful mustache on your face if your name was Walt and you founded the company. Then mustaches were allowed for female Cast Members. (We assume - we just saw a lot of them back in the day.) And now ...
We missed these posters on our last visit, as we were too busy checking our Facebook notifications.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney has unveiled its new "celebration slogan," which will be used in Disney Parks and Resorts worldwide: "PUT DOWN YOUR STUPID PHONE."
"We wanted something that would appeal to all ages, and really capture the modern spirit," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "After loads of research, we settled on this one.
"Okay, it wasn't so much 'loads ...
Our little-known facts series continues"!"
There are three things that make the Disney Vacation Club special. First, it's Disney. And, um, it has to do with vacations. And it is a club! [Ed.: Hey, so that's why it's called that!]
Wait, there is a fourth thing: it somehow manages to be a time share without all the negative vibes associated with those words! But do you know everything there is to know about the Disney company's amazing time-share-not-a-time-share?
If not, don't despair! Uncle Walt's ...