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Artist's conception of what Disneyland would look like in the future if it hadn't already moved to Texas! Photo © 2021 Disney.

Disneyland expansion: what you need to know

We guarantee: there will be more or different stuff! (Fact check: true.) ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney announced expansion plans for its California parks this week, and fans around the world are waiting for more details to surface. We at Uncle Walt's Insider, however, have never liked waiting around for official (read: "correct") announcements. So, based on our access to inside information coupled with our imagination, and with our usual level of accuracy (17%), here's what you can expect from the new development ... Read more
No more shiplap under her watch. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Chip Gaines out; Gina Carano named head of Imagineering

No controversy here, no sir. BURBANK, CA -- Chip Gaines lasted less than a week as head of Walt Disney Imagineering. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider, "Officially, Chip is moving on to devote more time with his family. "Off the record, though," Disney (no relation) continued, "Chip was less interested in coming up with new attractions, and more into completely gutting the Imagineering offices, 'to get them ready to flip.'" [Note to self: look up the meaning ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer...ing President. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Chip Gaines to become head of Imagineering

He could be in charge of demolishing every unoriginal attraction. Hmm... BURBANK, CA -- With the recent news that longtime Disney Imagineer Joe Rohde has left Walt Disney Imagineering, ostensibly to go play with cruise ships trains spaceships, there is a rare opening for the head Imagineer. Our sources have told us that the new head of Imagineering will be WDI consultant Chip Gaines. Bob Weis [Ed.: No relation to Charlie], President of Walt Disney Imagineering, told Uncle Walt's Insider that "while we ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk joins Disney Imagineering as creative consultant

One person in America still has original ideas. GLENDALE, CA -- Elon Musk has joined Disney's Imagineering as a creative consultant. [Ed.: Didn't we just say that in the headline?] Uncle Walt's Insider found that the move came after Disney was looking for some sort of ideas for new attractions to put into the parks, but admitted they were out of original ideas and could only turn to Hollywood. And then they discovered that Hollywood is also out of original ideas. Disney (the company) spokesperson ... Read more
A new, simple, Covid-19 prevention mask. Photo courtesy Texas A&M University, maybe.

Will this mask breakthrough allow Disneyland to reopen?

It's 100% effective at stopping the virus, and can be made with common household materials. COLLEGE STATION, TX -- This may be the break Disneyland officials have been waiting for! Researchers at the Texas A&M University Department of Biotechnology and Concrete Husbandry have announced a new masking solution that is 100% effective at preventing the spread of Covid-19. "It's so simple, we don't know why we didn't think of it before," says A&M (the college) spokesperson Jun Aggie (no relation). "We've been using ... Read more