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It was either use this stock photo or a clearly photoshopped one of Kim Jong Un shaking hands with Goofy.

Disneyland Pyongyang remains open

They just do everything right! PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA -- Amidst global shutdowns of the theme park and entertainment industries, one nation has managed to keep its Disney park operating. In fact, not just operating, but flourishing! In an article published yesterday, the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) reported that "His Excellency Marshal Kim Jong Un personally welcomed the five trillionth visitor to Disneyland Pyongyang." The "glorious meeting" was "a fruition of the wise guidance of the Workers' Party of Korea and the great ... Read more
The actual headline from the Denver Post if this were real! Photo mostly from the Orlando Sentinel.

Disneyland Denver? Elitch’s “developer” might be Disney!

"The River Mile" project may have been a front for the Mouse! DENVER, CO -- Elitch Gardens (just "Elitch's" to the locals) was a beloved theme park in west Denver with roots going back to the late 1800's. Eventually, in 1995, the name (but not the "beloved") moved downtown, becoming a generic cookie-cutter amusement park monstrosity with great views of the mountains. (Then again, just about any place in Denver has great views of the mountains. It's not like they're hard to see. ... Read more
The new DiZOOMney logo.

Chapek: Disney attractions will convert to Zoom

It's only natural, since Disney bought Zoom. BR'ER BANK, CA -- Bob "Robert" Chapek, the once and future king deposed CEO, announced this morning that Disney parks will be very different when they reopen. "I've been playing around with Zoom a lot," Chapek tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "and it's pretty cool. Did you know you can do different backgrounds and stuff?" Chapek plans to integrate the technology into Disney theme parks. Wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying, planning, and dreaming "I've had a lot of ... Read more
The site of the next Disney park! Photo by risemeagain [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

New park announced: Disneyland Wuhan!

Don't worry. The WHO has given their okay. (And Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and the Rolling Stones.) WUHAN, CHINA -- Details are unclear at the moment (it's not easy to get any reliable information out of China) but apparently Disney will soon start construction on their third China-based theme park. Yes, Disneyland Wuhan will soon open its doors to the public! The park will be the fifth Disney park on mainland Asia, joining Shanghai Disneyland, Hong Kong Disneyland, Disneyland Escanaba and Pyongyang ... Read more
The Hawkins family, desparately trying to unpause the video. Photo credit: Shutterstock.

Family gets stuck on YouTube “virtual ride” of it’s a small world

For one family, Disney's virtual boat ride becomes a nightmare. HOUSTON, TX -- Jason and Michelle Hawkins, like so many other parents, had to cancel their family's Disney vacation due to the COVID-19 outbreak. But their attempt to reclaim the magic for their kids using YouTube ride videos went awry. They discovered the dangers of virtual park visits when their ride got stuck. The Houston couple found the Disney Parks YouTube page and found virtual ride-throughs of several rides. They parked their three ... Read more