Uncle Walt’s Insider
Walt
Founder / Inspiration / Maintenance Supervisor
Like his namesake, our Uncle Walt was born in 1901, was raised in Marceline, Missouri, and created a multi-billion dollar media, travel, and entertainment industry; just not the one you’re thinking of. Winner of multiple cooking competitions in spite of having been born without taste buds, Walt is a masterful storyteller and an even more talented chain saw juggler. When not painstakingly assembling each individual 1 and 0 into the dazzling information website you see before you, Walt spends his time searching out kayaking locations above the timberline, writing best-selling washing machine repair manuals, and crocheting hats and socks for house elves.
Ub
Writer / History and Research
Resident historian Ub made his mark on the theme park industry by being the first to suggest that guests be charged money to enter the parks and enjoy the attractions. Sadly, his contribution did not result in personal enrichment, and he has been forced to lower his employment standards and come to work at Uncle Walt’s. As a veteran theme park insider, Ub’s contribution to this site is beyond description, and he is bribing us to keep it that way. Ub’s hobbies include cat massage, playing with big model trains, and starting arguments online with international soccer fans about American football being “real” football.
Harriet
Writer / Transportation & Travel
Pulitzer prizes are no strangers to Insider team member Harriet. She hasn’t actually won any, but she has heard of them. Fortunately for Insider readers, Harriet brings charisma, talent, and creativity into her writing. Fortunately for Uncle Walt’s Insider, Harriet brings cash and lots of it, otherwise we’d all have to sit at home just making stuff up instead of actually getting to go to the parks. Harriet enjoys ant farming, pickling foods that really don’t need to be pickled, and curling up with a warm book and an interesting cup of coffee. Harriet does not enjoy yachting, snorkling, or surfing, but does them anyway just to look cool and make the rest of us seem like slugs.
X
Writer / Gofer / Corporate Spy
The mysterious “X” suddenly appeared at our office doors recently, offering his services to Uncle Walt’s Insider and claiming extreme inside knowledge of the entertainment industry. While we were perplexed, both by his unwillingness to give us his real name and by the fact that apparently we have an office, he did kind of resemble Bob Iger if you squint real hard, so we thought we’d give him a chance. When asked what information he would like in his official Uncle Walt’s bio, he mumbled something about having a “former career as a journeyman zamboni driver,” and then disappeared into the mist.
Marty
Writer / Ink & Paint
Chief drawing-person and word-wrangler Marty is a complete unknown to the rest of us at Uncle Walt’s. We only keep him around because he’s okay with sleeping on the sofa, cleans up after himself, and doesn’t eat much. Marty’s only known hobby is writing fake biographies for his friends.