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The lion speaks tonight. Photo [CC0] via PxHere & [CC BY-NC 4.0] via PNGImg.com.

Next Lion King: 2D animation, real animal voices

The next in a long series of Lion King remakes will be interesting. BR'ER BANK, CA -- As previously reported, the Walt Disney Studios and Spa are going all-in on Lion King remakes. The second remake (working title: Cats) will be in theaters soon. And now the third remake has been announced for next year -- and it will flip the previous one on its head! (Not literally. Films don't have heads.) 2019's (first) Lion King remake used live animals and human voices. Surprisingly, the 2020 ... Read more
Spider-Man, being held in Vault Disney? Photo by Marvel & Disney via throughthesilverscreen.com.

BREAKING: Disney kidnaps Spider-Man, refuses to give him back to Sony

With great profit comes great desperation. UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, ANAHEIM, CA -- As negotiations have broken down between Sony and Disney over the future of Spider-Man, one side has resorted to extreme measures. Rather than returning Spider-Man to Sony, Disney is apparently holding him as a bargaining chip. "It's absolutely not kidnapping," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "For it to be kidnapping, you have to intentionally be keeping a person against their will. And Mr. Parker Spider-Man is being supplied ... Read more
She probably meant to say the Palestine Pavilion. Epcot photo [CC0] via Pixabay; AOC photo by nrkbeta [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Confused AOC upset Reps. Tlaib & Omar were banned from Epcot’s Israel Pavilion

We had a long editorial debate about whether "confused" and "AOC" in the headline were redundant. WASHINGTON, DC -- As fallout continues from the nation of Israel's decision to deny Democratic Reps. Rashida Tlaib (MI) and Ilhan Omar (MN) entry into the country, another U.S. Representative had a unique complaint. "It's wrong for Epcot to keep these strong women of color out of the Israel Pavilion," tweeted Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). "I thought Disneyland Orlando was open to everyone!" After Uncle Walt's Insider reached ... Read more
We didn't have any pictures from the live-action Little Mermaid, so here's one from Mulan instead. Photo © 2019 Disney.

Little Mermaid remake canceled; activists demanded real mermaids be cast

Social Justice Warriors claim a victory for Pisci-Americans everywhere. BR'ER BANK, CA -- The Disney Studios has canceled production on its live-action remake of 1989's The Little Mermaid. The move follows controversy over its casting. Apparently, activists decry the fact that no actual mermaids had been cast in mermaid roles. "Sure, back in the 80's you could get away with casting Jodi Benson as a mermaid," one activist told Uncle Walt's Insider. "Even though, I bet, she's never been underwater longer than a ... Read more
Just a few of the channels that will come into your home by a wire!

Disney+ announces cable-based “Everything Bundle” for $290/month

The innovative partnership with Time Warner will require your home to be connected to cable or fiber. LOS ANGELES, CA -- Earlier this week, Disney announced the pricing of its new streaming service, Disney+. At the time, they also described a bundled service that includes Hulu & ESPN+ for just $13 per month. Now Disney+ is swinging for the fences, with a new "Everything Bundle" that will include every TV channel currently in existence, for only $290 per month! For the new bundle, ... Read more