Other Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
We can't wait to visit Apple, Oklahoma! Photo [CC-BY-2.0] via eoi.es.

Apple to acquire Disney

We assume the deal includes the parks. City parks, that is. CUPERTINO, CA -- In a recently leaked memo from CEO Tim "Bob" Cook, it appears that Apple, the first company to hit $3 Trillion in valuation, is poised to spend some of their stockpiled cash on acquiring Disney! Fans of Mickey Mouse dismayed by our misleading headline need not worry, however. In the leaked memo, Cook allegedly says, "Disney, Oklahoma, has a low population, and our research has shown that it would ... Read more
Now just humming a Disney song makes me want to spend money on non-Disney stuff. Good job, Chapek! Photo [CC0] via anyrgb.com & etsy.com.

Other Disney songs advertising non-Disney products

We fear the Coca-Cola ad is only the beginning. What's that? A cheery instrumental version of Chim Chim Chiree is coming from your TV? It must be a new commercial for Walt Disney World! Except it's not -- it's an ad for Coca-Cola. And then you hear Bear Necessities... in an ad for Door Dash? What's going on? Your ears do not deceive you -- you actually have heard Disney songs popping up in non-Disney places. Which means one thing: Disney CEO Bob ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk to be named CEO of Disney

You put your Elon in, you take your Chapek out... Admit it, you started to sing that. BURBANK, CA -- According to several unreliable news outlets, former Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger is set to take over for Bob "Bob" Chapek as CEO of the Disney company. These reports cite numerous complaints against Chapek, but mainly his overuse of the word "magical" [Ed.: Especially all those "magical" new fees for guests, right?]  Despite these hopeful rumors of a triumphant return of Bob "Bob" Iger ... Read more
另一家大公司向中國政府傾斜!Photo by Daderot [CC0] via Wikimedia.

Disney+ raises price to $49.99/month to celebrate Disney+ Day

You might want to check your credit card for unexpected charges if you do one of those "blue carpet" events. BURBANK, CA -- Disney+ Day has arrived! To celebrate the streaming service's second anniversary, Disney is rolling out the "blue carpet" for its guests, with special experiences in the parks, deals on shopDisney.com, and, oh yeah, increasing the price for a monthly Disney+ subscription to $49.99. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) talked with Uncle Walt's Insider about the new ... Read more
Okay, you'd think Disney would at least try to get different-looking actors for the other two roles. Photo mostly © 1989 Twentieth Century Fox.

“Weekend at Walt’s” coming soon to Disney+

We're guessing there's also a subplot about Mafia hitmen. BURBANK, CA -- In another brilliant move under the guidance of Bob "Bob" Chapek, Disney has announced an all-new, original feature film coming to Disney+: Weekend at Walt's! Chapek told Uncle Walt's Insider, "Disney fans want to see original movies and series -- they practically beg us! We of course listened, and in the past few years we've created and released many, many original movies, like the realistic version of the Lion King. ... Read more