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Disney's eight dwarfs. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Confusion at Disney: Pluto named as “Eighth Dwarf”

Is there a mixup between Pluto the dog and Pluto the planet? BURBANK, CA -- There were plenty of raised eyebrows -- many of them animated -- at the Burbank headquarters of the Walt Disney Company when it announced yesterday that Pluto had been named the "Eighth Dwarf." Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) made the announcement. "It really didn't start with us," Disney (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "It was the International Astronomical Union who made that call. They decided ... Read more
The three new Star Wars Lands opening soon.

Potentially fatal flaw discovered in Star Wars Land plans

"Abandon our plans? In our moment of triumph?" BURBANK, CA -- Construction continues on the Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge themed lands at all three U.S. Disney parks, despite a serious flaw found in the design plans. Disney intern Scott "Flip" Palledorous, who discovered the potentially fatal defect, has so far been unsuccessful in getting anyone in authority to realize the seriousness of the issue. "Look, I've crunched the numbers," Palledorous says, "and spent hours and thousands of dollars at Starbucks pouring over the plans. ... Read more
Space-going Tesla Roadster with Starman. Public Domain.

Starman disappointed: “I was promised a trip to Disney World”

"There are no churros in space." OUTSIDE MARS ORBIT -- In a remote (duh) interview with Uncle Walt's Insider, Tesla Roadster pilot "Starman" claims that he was promised a trip to the Walt Disney World Resort for taking part in the SpaceX launch. In the more than six months since the Falcon Heavy rocket launched the red Tesla Roadster into space, Starman has traveled over 143 million miles (and exceeded the Roadster's warranty 7,500 times over). He's gone farther from Earth than any ... Read more
St. Louis adds a second arch, sponsored by McDonald's. Photo by AfricanGeo [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.

Corporate sponsorship enables second Gateway Arch

McDonald's selfless gift to the city of St. Louis also includes coloring both arches gold. ST. LOUIS, MO -- The Gateway Arch has stood for over fifty years on the banks of the Mississippi River. And now, thanks to a generous gift from the McDonald's Corporation, it will have a twin. "As the original arch celebrates the western expansion of the United States," McDonald's spokesperson Jeremy Burger (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "so the new arch celebrates the expansion of America's economy ... Read more
TV remote made from Pal Mickey.

Pal Mickey repurposed as TV remote

Batteries not included. PITTSFIELD TOWNSHIP, MI -- A self-described "Disney geek -- well, really, more of an overall geek" from a small town somewhat near Detroit has found a way to rescue her old Pal Mickey. Braidy Abelli, 23, says that the modification was "not really all that difficult." What is Pal Mickey? Back in the Early 2000's, Disney sold a plush Mickey toy known as Pal Mickey. But this was not just any plush mouse! Pal Mickey was an interactive toy, containing a ... Read more