Marty, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider
The letters in the word "acolyte" can be rearranged to spell "lye taco". This means something. Image © Disney.

Cancelled no more: Disney+ announces 4 more seasons of The Acolyte

"We had no idea more than one person ever even watched the show." BR'ER BANK, CA -- After a massive letter-writing campaign from fans, Disney+ has reversed its decision to cancel its controversial Star Wars series The Acolyte. Seasons 2, 3, 4 and 5 will begin production soon. The show, which is set in the Star Wars universe, we think, and is... about an acolyte or something (we didn't watch it), was initially canceled after one season of bad reviews and low ratings. ... Read more
It was Little Buford, wasn't it? We bet it was Little Buford. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Country Bear escapes, terrorizes Magic Kingdom guests

The Jamboree will be closed for the near future as the bear restraints are inspected and upgraded. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Magic Kingdom's beloved Country Bear Jamboree will be closed after one of the bears got loose, frightening guests and causing much of the park to close for several hours on Monday. The Jamboree, a musical revue featuring singing and instrument-playing by live bears (and which recently added an adults-only nighttime show), has often come under criticism. Animal rights activists protest ... Read more
UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Our opinion on the coming Oklahoma theme park

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: What do you think of the new theme park coming to Oklahoma?” – Chris T., Disney OK Marty: Dear Crisp, thank you for writing. It's good that you have a job where your official duties are so miniscule that they give you ... Read more
The renamed & relocated Disneyland Escanaba. Photo courtesy American Heartland Theme Park and Resort (and Spa?).

Disneyland Escanaba sold to investors, moving to Oklahoma

Fire sale at the Disney Company! VINITA, OK -- Sources say Disney CEO Bob 'Bob' Iger, eager to raise capital for the struggling entertainment company, is quietly selling off pieces of the company. Money-losing parts of the company such as ABC, Freeform, FX, and Kathleen Kennedy are up for sale. And the latest piece of the company to go? Michigan's Disneyland Escanaba. Goodbye Yoopers The park, located (some say) in the Upper Peninsula of the state of Michigan, is most famous for three things: ... Read more
Surefire great success at box office! Photo credit: Daily Mail UK.

Disney gives up on the whole “making money” thing

Can you gamble on a movie flopping? Because we'd take this bet. BR'ER BANK, CA -- After multiple bid-budget theatrical releases losing money this year, and with declining theme park attendance, the Disney Company announced this week that they are just giving up on making money. The announcement came in the form of still images from the upcoming Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs remake. From the images, and interviews with various actors and screenwriters, it appears that many significant changes have been made ... Read more