Marty, Author at
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: If I follow Disneyland to Texas, can I still get a California local’s discount?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: I understand that Disney is hightailing out of California for greener pastures in Texas. My question is, will my California Drivers licence still garner me the 20% locals discount? If not please tell me how the discount structure will ... Read more
Mickey likes to talks to tomatoes. No word if a squash can make him smile. Photo by Josh Hallett [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Disney to purchase VeggieTales

Okay, now they own everything. BURBANK, CA -- The Disney Company is in final talks with VeggieTales owner Universal to bring Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, and all of their vegetable friends under the Disney banner. Sources inside both companies say that they expect a deal to be closed soon. One of the final hurdles to reaching agreement is VeggieTales demand that Disney disassociate itself from dancer and actress Julianne Hough. "Vegetables just have a problem with anything that sounds like 'julienne,'" ... Read more
What Walt Disney World used to look like at Christmas time. Stock photo from DepositPhotos.

Walt Disney World cancels Christmas

He took all their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings, Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings! WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- For decades, Disney has embraced the holidays, overloading their parks with festive garlands, lights, music, and shows. There were few places in the world that celebrated the season like Walt Disney World. But not this year. In yet another indicator that 2020 really sucks, [Ed.: Are professional journalists allowed to say "sucks" now?] [Marty: Forget professional journalists. How about us?] park officials announced ... Read more
Construction of Disneyland Texas, probably! Photo by Philip Hawling [CC BY-SA 2.0] via www.geograph.org.uk; inset photo via DepositPhotos.

Construction underway for Disneyland Texas; location revealed!

It'll be so easy to get to! FUTURE SITE OF DISNEYLAND TEXAS -- Are you as excited as we are for the newly-relocated Disneyland in Texas? Uncle Walt's Insider is thrilled to announce that ground has been broken, and construction has begun! And the new location is just where many predicted it would be. Your reporter was invited on a tour of the property, led by Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). After a bit of a delay in my getting to ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: What’s our take on the Food & Wine Tour?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What do you really think of the Food & Wine Tour? Sweet, spicy, salty or a little too saucy?" - Carmela D., Dallas-Ft. Worth TX Ub: You forgot umami. Now I want some sushi. X: Give me all the desserts. Actual food, eh, ... Read more