Marty, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider
Bob "Bob," about to take his toys and go home. Photo by elisfkc2 [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Chapek Nov. 11: “We anticipate staff reductions”; Chapek today: “Dang it.”

Yay, Chapek's gone. Iger will be better. He will be better, right? Hello? BR'ER BANK, CA -- Only days after declaring that the struggling Disney Company would be facing staff reductions, a dejected Bob "Bob" Chapek was seen leaving its headquarters with a box of personal belongings (we're assuming photos with Mickey and his favorite pieces of hate mail). Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) claims the firing of Chapek as CEO was just a bit of bad luck. "He was trying ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk to purchase Uncle Walt’s Insider

He wanted to buy the Babylon Bee, but that's actually worth something. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Fresh off his purchase (and purge) of Twitter, billionaire Elon Musk announced today his plans to purchase Uncle Walt's Insider. The move comes after his first attempt to buy a news satire site, The Babylon Bee, fell through, due to the Bee "actually being worth something." While the final purchase details for Uncle Walt's have not been disclosed (unlike Twitter, U.W.I. is not a publicly ... Read more
UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Can you use a churro as a straw?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Can you use a churro as a straw?" - Universal Orlando Resort Walt: Hi Universal Orlando Resort, thanks for asking. We’ve actually tested this in our totally unique, and certainly not copied, Uncle Walt’s Insider Food Blog. And yes, yes you can.  Marty: Uh, Walt, ... Read more
Our AI's Round 3 email arrived this morning! Photo © Disney, used with permission, maybe.

Computer A.I. advances to Round 3 of planDisney panel search

If it makes it, this will be the first computer-generated personality to make it onto the panel -- that we know of. LONGYEARBYEN, SVALBARD -- The search is on for new members for the planDisney trip advice panel!* Tens of thousands of applicants have already been eliminated, and the remaining few are keeping their fingers crossed. But one potential panelist has no fingers to cross. That's because the applicant, "John Q. Disneyfan of St. Louis, Missouri," is not a person, but an ... Read more
We're really not accusing anyone. At least, not in any legally-actionable way.

UWI Story Idea Vault breached; investigation ongoing

That cover photo is just a placeholder. No accusations are being made. Yet. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Uncle Walt's Insider today announced (by this article, in fact) that they are investigating a breach into their Vault of Story Ideas (known also as the Story Idea Vault, or the Idea Vault of Stories). The U.W.I. Story Idea Vault (see previous paragraph) is kept under lock and key inside the renowned Svalbard Global Seed Vault, known for its ultra-tight security.* "We're not sure who ... Read more