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Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for June 7

Here's what you missed while doing something much less important!  Appearing this past week on Uncle Walt's Insider: Monday (STEP) MOMS PANEL: WDW WITHOUT FASTPASSES OR DINING RESERVATIONS? - No Fastpass+ or dining reservations at Walt Disney World this year? How will it work? Tuesday DISNEY MAGIC TO BE SUNK, TURNED INTO ARTIFICIAL REEF - It's a cost-saving measure. Don't worry, they'll take the crew off first. We think. Wednesday JOE ROHDE'S EARRING SUSPENDS CAMPAIGN, DOES NOT ENDORSE ANYONE - It's the same old story: lack of fundraising, ... Read more
Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Mickey’s retirement lasts less than one day

Goofy wasn't fit to be Disney CEO. His name isn't Bob. BURBANK, CA -- Mickey Mouse is back. After announcing his retirement yesterday, the Mouse "pulled an Iger" and announced his unretirement today. No formal reason was given. A source tells Uncle Walt's Insider, however, that Goofy was a "disaster." Anonymous sources  Minnie Our source, who wished to remain anonymous, giggled and said, "My sweetheart just was made to be the head guy. Everyone loves Mickey!" "Oh, sure, everyone loves Goofy, too, but not in the ... Read more
Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: MICKEY MOUSE ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT

He'll still make appearances, but he's turning over the running of the company to Goofy. BURBANK, CA -- In a stunning move, Disney icon Mickey Mouse is retiring as the "big boss" of the Disney empire. The company announced today that Mickey, who is well into his 90's, is "stepping away" to spend more time with Minnie and enjoy his "twilight years." The announcement says Mickey will still appear in the parks on a limited basis, but will leave the daily operations ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Did we skip the murder hornets?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: With all the current crises in the news, I feel like we've just skipped past the murder hornets. Are murder hornets still a thing? Are there any at Walt Disney World?" - Miles B., Greeley CO Walt: Hi Billy, thanks for ... Read more
Former official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring suspends campaign, does not endorse anyone

It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring yesterday is suspending its campaign for the presidency. The brief press release issued yesterday gave three reasons for the decision. The campaign just never gained traction, due to "the quarantine preventing campaign events," "difficulty in fundraising," and the fact that "as an earring [it] is not Constitutionally eligible for the office." Because the campaign is only suspended, Joe Rohde's Earring could re-enter the race ... Read more