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Construction of Disneyland Texas, probably! Photo by Philip Hawling [CC BY-SA 2.0] via www.geograph.org.uk; inset photo via DepositPhotos.

Construction underway for Disneyland Texas; location revealed!

It'll be so easy to get to! FUTURE SITE OF DISNEYLAND TEXAS -- Are you as excited as we are for the newly-relocated Disneyland in Texas? Uncle Walt's Insider is thrilled to announce that ground has been broken, and construction has begun! And the new location is just where many predicted it would be. Your reporter was invited on a tour of the property, led by Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). After a bit of a delay in my getting to ... Read more
Alphonso Ribeiro statue at Disney's Ribeiro Resort. Photo by Summer Hull/The Points Guy, modified slightly.

Rumors fly about “Disney’s Ribeiro Resort”

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. But it is unusual for our articles. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- We recently received a cryptic email from an anonymous [Ed.: Hi Bob!] source, deep within the Walt Disney Company. The source wrote simply, "You should write an article about Disney's Ribeiro Resort." That was it. The entire email. Not really a lot to go on, but hey, we're award-winning journalists. We can uncover the rest of the story ourselves. We were able ... Read more
Mickey Mouse governor Gavin Newsom. Photo by Gage Skidmore [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

CA Gov. Newsom to personally house and feed all 28,000 former Disney employees at his Fair Oaks home

Such a generous guy! SACRAMENTO, CA -- On the heels of the recent layoff news coming to Disney Parks & Resorts, California Governor Gavin Newsom (D), has announced that he plans to personally take care of each and every employee out of the 28,000 Disney employees that will be laid off. Gavin Newsom said, "It's really the right thing to do. I mean, as a very, VERY rich man, instead of just talking about how we need to take care of these people, ... Read more
Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING NEWS: Disneyland Resort to re-open October 31st!

No word yet on whether it will reopen in Anaheim or in Texas. ANAHEIM, CA -- The long awaited re-opening date of the Disneyland Land Resort has finally been announced! Josh D'Amaro, Chairman of Disney Parks, Experiences, Products, and Spas alongside some random dude named Gavin something, announced that Disneyland will re-open to guests on October 31, 2021, along with a Halloween party to welcome guests back. Unlike previous Halloween parties, this will be open to all ticket and Annual Passholders, with ... Read more
In a heartwarming moment from Angels in the Outfield (1994), a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt shows Danny Glover where the team should move. Photo © 1994 Disney.

L.A. Angels are NOT leaving California

Who? ANAHEIM, CA -- In a time when thousands of attractions are fleeing the state of California (here, here, here, here, and here), one team dares to be different. The Anaheim Los Angeles [english: "The Angels"] Angels of Anaheim have announced that they will NOT be leaving the state of California.  In a press conference yesterday, a spokesperson for The The Angels Angels confirmed the decision. Who Cares? The spokesperson, who identified himself as "Head Angel Al" (and who looks suspiciously like Christopher Lloyd), admitted, "We thought about moving, ... Read more