California Archives - Page 2 of 58 - Uncle Walt's Insider

Citing “too many poor people here,” Disney raises prices… again

Also, the unnamed executive's ringtone was a "cha-ching" sound, over and over again. BURBANK, CA -- On a recent visit to Disneyland, an unidentified Disney executive (pictured) was overheard saying that there are "too many poor people here." The unnamed executive suggested that Disneyland should be like a country club: overpriced, exclusive, and offer mediocre experiences at a premium price. So, as you might expect, we at Uncle Walt's Insider predict more price increases coming to Disney parks. (We also have successfully predicted ... Read more
Bob "Bob," about to take his toys and go home. Photo by elisfkc2 [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney files papers to replace Disney name with Chapek’s

We can't wait to visit Walt, er, Bob Chapek World! BURBANK, CA -- A recent SEC filing reveals that Disney intends to replace the Disney name with "Chapek" worldwide, after its current CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. The name change will include the parks, studios, subsidiaries, individual departments, as well as the corporation name itself.  Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for more information. More "discussed" than "Disney." Or is that "disgust"? "Yes, boys, it is true," Disney ... Read more
Queen Elizabeth. [Walt: It's supposed to be a picture of the actual Queen Elizabeth II, not a ship.] [Marty: Then you should have provided context. You can't expect me to actually read the article.] [Walt: You literally wrote it!]. Public Domain.

BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth passes away; Disney’s UK Pavilions worldwide to close

Pictured: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Brits and anglophiles worldwide are mourning the passing of the United Kingdom's Queen Elizabeth II. Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that Disney parks worldwide will be closing down their respective U.K. Pavilions for a period of mourning, including the ones at Florida's EPCOT Centre (Disney: "They'll just have to go around"), California's California Adventure, and Disneyland Pyongyang. Uncle Walt's Insider offices will remain open; however, we will have "God Save the ... Read more

Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom"  ... Read more
Electrical lines soon to carry Walt-generated power! Photo [CC0] via Picryl.com.

Walt spinning in his grave burns out generator; California blackouts expected

Call it too much of a good thing... ANAHEIM, CA -- Well, it was good while it lasted. The electrical generator system hooked up to Walt Disney spinning in his grave has overloaded and is no longer usable -- and sources are already predicting power outages. As Uncle Walt's Insider reported, California had been enjoying a bonanza of extra power on its electrical grid by utilizing Walt Disney-generated power. The concept was simple -- hook up a generator to Walt Disney's frozen body, ... Read more