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Maybe they'll also make Sleeping Beauty Castle look like Cinderella Castle with a Texas flag; or, the media guy was too lazy to create a new image and just reused one from a 2017 article. Photo by depositphotos.com.

BREAKING: Disneyland is abandoning California, moving to Texas

The moving vans are scheduled for Wednesday. ANAHEIM, CA -- Saying they've "finally had enough" and the state is "just nuts," Disneyland officials have announced that the park is leaving California. The park joins hundreds of thousands of California residents fleeing the state each year. Various reasons have been given for the mass exodus, but most common are the high cost of living, the overreaching liberal government, or that the state is "just nuts." Former Cast Members already there Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney ...
August 31, 2020 by Marty in California, World
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Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Marty’s trip report: Disneyland, August 2020

Come along with Marty as he visits Walt's original Magic Kingdom! UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- I'm so excited! Our boss is normally pretty tight on money, but after we grumbled about his visiting Walt Disney World recently, he's opening up the purse strings! He said that if I can get myself from Svalbard to Anaheim, he'll pay for any available Disneyland admission pass, up to five days!! Also, I get to write in the first person! Days 1 & 2 It's a grueling ...
August 19, 2020 by Marty in California, World
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The only symptomatic dwarf. Photo © Disney.

Seven Dwarfs quarantined; only one is symptomatic

He's been "sneezing like crazy." BURBANK, CA -- In a statement released today, the Disney Company announced that all seven dwarfs have been quarantined after possible exposure to COVID-19. Only one is showing any symptoms of the virus. Citing medical privacy laws, the company refused to provide the identity of the symptomatic character. However, they did say he has been "sneezing like crazy." There have been no test results to confirm that the symptoms were caused by the virus. The unnamed individual is ...
August 4, 2020 by Marty in California, Florida, Other
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Emperor Palpatine, before he died. We think. Photo © Lucasfilm.

Emperor Palpatine died of Covid-19

In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU -- A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement "The First Order sadly announces that our beloved Emperor Palpatine's passing was due to complications of Covid-19. "While it is true he engaged in a glorious battle with a talentless young girl, only to ...
July 28, 2020 by Walt in California, Florida, Other
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Madame Leota is pretty socially distanced inside a crystal ball. Is the mask really necessary? Photo by Cory Doctorow [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Haunted Mansion COVID overlay?

You can't tell if the grim ghosts are grinning behind their face masks. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- With fans still reeling from the many changes to Disney parks, Uncle Walt's Insider has just learned of more to come. There are potential drastic changes to the Haunted Mansion attraction on their way, incorporating the COVID virus into the ride! Is nothing sacred? Won't someone think of the children? Our source We received an email from a faithful reader who wishes to remain anonymous. Well, we ...
July 22, 2020 by X in California, Florida
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