California Archives - Page 2 of 57 - Uncle Walt's Insider

Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom"  ...
August 18, 2022 by Walt in California
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Electrical lines soon to carry Walt-generated power! Photo [CC0] via Picryl.com.

Walt spinning in his grave burns out generator; California blackouts expected

Call it too much of a good thing... ANAHEIM, CA -- Well, it was good while it lasted. The electrical generator system hooked up to Walt Disney spinning in his grave has overloaded and is no longer usable -- and sources are already predicting power outages. As Uncle Walt's Insider reported, California had been enjoying a bonanza of extra power on its electrical grid by utilizing Walt Disney-generated power. The concept was simple -- hook up a generator to Walt Disney's frozen body, ...
May 14, 2022 by Marty in California
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Would you climb into this van to go meet Mickey? Photo by ITM via Flickr & Reddit.

Disney up-close character meets resume – through a sketchy van

Of course you can still trust Disney with your kids! REEDY CREEK ORANGE & OSCEOLA COUNTIES, FL -- Good news for all of you Disney character lovers -- in-person meet-and-greets are back! Guests at the Walt Disney World and Disneyland Resorts, Spas, and LGBTetc. Awareness Centers will no longer have to be content with Mickey and Minnie waving at them from a balcony. Now your kids can meet all of those trustworthy Cast Members-in-costume up close and intimately! A bit different than it was Uncle ...
May 2, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida
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Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World to leave Florida

Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. "It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...
April 6, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida
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Tips for visiting the parks with COVID

Sure, you're sick, but that doesn't mean you should cancel your vacation! (Or does it?) Much of the world is realizing that the pandemic is effectively over, and we're entering into the endemic phase of COVID where we "just live with it." (Note: this doesn't apply to Texas, Florida, or an handful of other states that have been getting on with their lives for months now.) This means that, eventually, you may find yourself testing positive for Covid when you're about to set ...
February 16, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida, World
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