By Groot's Hammer, what a savings!
ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love!
Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices!
For large values of "rock bottom"
Call it too much of a good thing...
ANAHEIM, CA -- Well, it was good while it lasted. The electrical generator system hooked up to Walt Disney spinning in his grave has overloaded and is no longer usable -- and sources are already predicting power outages.
As Uncle Walt's Insider reported, California had been enjoying a bonanza of extra power on its electrical grid by utilizing Walt Disney-generated power. The concept was simple -- hook up a generator to Walt Disney's frozen body, ...
Of course you can still trust Disney with your kids!
REEDY CREEK ORANGE & OSCEOLA COUNTIES, FL -- Good news for all of you Disney character lovers -- in-person meet-and-greets are back!
Guests at the Walt Disney World and Disneyland Resorts, Spas, and LGBTetc. Awareness Centers will no longer have to be content with Mickey and Minnie waving at them from a balcony. Now your kids can meet all of those trustworthy Cast Members-in-costume up close and intimately!
A bit different than it was
Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay."
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida.
"It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...
Sure, you're sick, but that doesn't mean you should cancel your vacation! (Or does it?)
Much of the world is realizing that the pandemic is effectively over, and we're entering into the endemic phase of COVID where we "just live with it." (Note: this doesn't apply to Texas, Florida, or an handful of other states that have been getting on with their lives for months now.) This means that, eventually, you may find yourself testing positive for Covid when you're about to set ...