California Archives - Page 5 of 58 - Uncle Walt's Insider
It has a Mickey on it! We'll pay!! Photo by Jrobertiko [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons

Chapek: pay toilets coming soon to Disney parks

Looks like we can unlock the stalls with our Magic Bands! BR'ER BANK, CA -- Disney Grand Pooh-bah Bob "Bob" Chapek has found a new way to gouge guests raise revenue and please shareholders. "Some of our executives thought we were running out of ways to bilk our... I mean, encourage spending in Disney parks," Chapek told Uncle Walt's Insider in an interview that we totally did not make up. "We've taken away free MagicBands, Fastpasses, luggage pickup and delivery, airline check-in and ...
November 18, 2021 by Marty in California, Florida, World
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Little-Known Facts about Lightning Lanes

Top 10 little-known facts about Lightning Lanes!

Our little-known facts series continues (in spite of underwhelming demand)! Fastpass, Fastpass+, MaxPass, MaxiPass, and extra-absorbent MaxiPass are all no more (except, of course, at the Disney Yesterland Theme Park and Spa). They've been replaced by something called Genie+ and "Lightning Lanes." But do you know everything there is to know about Lightning Lanes? Of course you don't. They're brand new. But we at Uncle Walt's Insider know everything about them, or at least as much as we know about anything. So read on ...
November 1, 2021 by Marty in California, Florida, Spotlight
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This isn't another death that happened a long time ago that we should have known about, is it? Photo © Disney.

Wicked Wench sinks, Captain Barbossa feared dead

Funny, we're pretty sure we've witnessed this battle scene while floating by in a tiny boat. DISNEYLAND RESORT, CA -- For years and years, Captain Barbossa has waged war against the small village of Puerto Dorado on Isla Tesoro, as witnessed by hundreds of thousands of guests floating by the battle scene in tiny boats. Barbossa was attacking because the village refused to produce Captain Jack Sparrow. Of course, everyone knows Captain Jack Sparrow is nowhere to be found in that attraction. The ...
October 29, 2021 by Walt in California
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Hail Hydra Campus! Concept art © Disney © Marvel 2020, modified a wee bit.

Votes don’t lie: Avengers Campus to close, be replaced by Hydra Campus

We suspect the campus was already infiltrated. ANAHEIM, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that the Avengers Campus at California Adventure will soon close and be rebranded as "Hydra Campus." While this may shock to those who enjoyed Avengers Campus, dismal feedback from a poll is behind the change. We reached out to Disney (the company) Spokesbabe Jun Disney (no relation) to find out more. More "We normally target these sort of marketing surveys," Disney (no relation) told us, "but in this day ...
October 20, 2021 by Walt in California
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Returning soon to a Disney park near you! Photo by pbev pbev pbev pbev pbev (seriously) [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Disney Parks bring back ride coupon books

Because everything old is new again... if it brings in $$. BR'ER BANK, CA -- In his quest to find a way to charge guests extra for dang near everything, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek announced today that Disney ride coupon books are returning. For the 98% of Disney fans alive today who have never seen one, a coupon book was an additional purchase above and beyond park admission. The booklet would contain various numbers of tickets with letters, and guests would need ...
October 17, 2021 by Marty in California, Florida
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