We can't wait to visit Walt, er, Bob Chapek World!
BURBANK, CA -- A recent SEC filing reveals that Disney intends to replace the Disney name with "Chapek" worldwide, after its current CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. The name change will include the parks, studios, subsidiaries, individual departments, as well as the corporation name itself.
Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for more information.
More "discussed" than "Disney." Or is that "disgust"?
"Yes, boys, it is true," Disney ...
Pictured: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Brits and anglophiles worldwide are mourning the passing of the United Kingdom's Queen Elizabeth II. Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that Disney parks worldwide will be closing down their respective U.K. Pavilions for a period of mourning, including the ones at Florida's EPCOT Centre (Disney: "They'll just have to go around"), California's California Adventure, and Disneyland Pyongyang.
Uncle Walt's Insider offices will remain open; however, we will have "God Save the ...
Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA???
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox.
Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson.
Our favorite Disney spokesperson
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ...
Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No."
ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park!
In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ...
Pictured: artist's concept of the pirate-...ing.
BATUU, OUTER RIM -- Guests aboard the Halcyon starcruiser had a frightening experience recently in the Outer Rim Territories. A group of pirates, believed to be hiding out at Black Spire Outpost, boarded the starcruiser with blasters drawn and threatening guests and crew.
The Halcyon, a Corellian MPO-1400 model starcruiser (home port: Nassau, The Bahamas), is a 100-cabin vessel hailed as the "jewel of the Chandrila Star Line."
Don't you hate it when your blue shrimp and noodles ...