Florida Archives | Page 4 of 91 |
"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!" Photo by Random UWI Fan, used with permission. We think.

Mariachi ‘invasion’ of America Gardens Theatre prompts new border wall

The President vowed to get right on this. EPCOT, FL -- Walt Disney World guests, already reeling from so many changes, found a new disturbance at EPCOT's World Showcase. The America Pavilion's normal patriotic music, backed by the incredibly talented Voices of Liberty, has been replaced by the sounds of mariachi. Tensions were already running high in World Showcase, what with the UK Pavilion pulling out, the invasion of the French Pavilion, and the protests after Applebee's took the riblets off the menu ... Read more
Now Mickey will cry over your dead body! Photo by Chad Sparkes [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr, modified.

QUESTION: Did Walt Disney World reopen to increase Magical Funerals® clients?

Would Disney exploit a health crisis to drum up business? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- While many have questioned Walt Disney World's decision to reopen its theme parks during the pandemic, some are suggesting a more sinister motive. "They have a business built on death," said Cast Member Jordan from Davenport, FL our source, who asked to remain anonymous, referring to WDW's Magical Funerals® services. "I've been working with the Disney Magical Funerals® department for over a year. And you'd think that when the ... Read more
Madame Leota is pretty socially distanced inside a crystal ball. Is the mask really necessary? Photo by Cory Doctorow [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Haunted Mansion COVID overlay?

You can't tell if the grim ghosts are grinning behind their face masks. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- With fans still reeling from the many changes to Disney parks, Uncle Walt's Insider has just learned of more to come. There are potential drastic changes to the Haunted Mansion attraction on their way, incorporating the COVID virus into the ride! Is nothing sacred? Won't someone think of the children? Our source We received an email from a faithful reader who wishes to remain anonymous. Well, we ... Read more
Two bucks for egg salad? Hope it's good! Photo by Khairoun Abji [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

Pre-packaged sandwiches at EPCOT Food & Wine Festival

Also, instead of being sold in kiosks, they'll be in vending machines. EPCOT, FL -- Walt Disney World is welcoming guests once again, and that can only mean one thing: it's festival time at EPCOT! This year the International Food & Wine Festival starts early and Uncle Walt's Insider has obtained an exclusive look at the upcoming menus. And there's a special treat this year: for guest safety, all items are pre-packaged! Here's a look at some of the more appetizing offerings ... Read more
Epic Escanaba Universe in da moonlight. Concept art courtesy Universal.

Universal’s Epic Universe to relocate to Escanaba, Michigan

Soon, Escanaba will be just like Orlando! But slightly colder. ORLANDO, FL -- Following an announcement that construction on their new "Epic Universe" theme park had been halted, Universal Orlando hit us with another surprise. Rather than being the third park [Ed.: Universal claims it would be their fourth, but a warmed-over version of Wet 'n' Wild is not a theme park.] in the company's Florida portfolio, they'll be building the Epic Universe park just outside of Escanaba, Michigan. Escanaba? Seriously? Escanaba? Seriously. They ... Read more