“Your plastic pal who’s fun to be with!”
BAY LAKE, FLORIDA — On Monday, the Disney blogosphere went into overdrive after supposedly spotting a top secret preview of the new Tron Lightcycle Run attraction at Disney’s Magic Kingdom.
However, Uncle Walt’s Insider can confirm it was not a preview. Instead, Disney is testing out new top secret ride test dummies that are apparently incredibly lifelike.
We got a text from our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson, Jun Disney (no relation), who said, “Ignore what you see on WDWNT. Not testing the ride. Testing the new dummies.” We called Jun back immediately, and after being sent to voicemail 8 times, she finally picked up, and answered our questions.
Not your average dummies
“Yeah, it looked like we were doing some ride tests for Tron, but we weren’t. Those weren’t humans on the ride. They’re our new next generation test dummies. These are far more lifelike than the sandbags we used to use. The Tron Lightcycle Run attraction, due to it’s unique ride vehicle shape, needed a new way to test it. These new dummies are able to be posed in poses that previously only a real human could do. They’ve also, for some reason, been given very realistic facial expressions.”
Real dude.
When we pressed further, Jun eventually did admit that one of the riders was actually a human.
“They were all test dummies, except for the guy in the bright orange shoes (see inset photo). He’s just a random tourist from Sioux Falls. He wandered into the test area, and we thought he was a test dummy because of the orange shoes. When we realized he was human, we decided to let him ride anyway. But look at his expression of pure happiness. Doesn’t that just make the world a brighter place, just for a moment?”
Yes, Jun, it does.
Why would anyone wear orange shoes who wasn’t a crash test dummy? Let us know in the comments below!
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Cover photo: Realistic crash test dummies, reportedly all with GPP (Genuine People Personalities). Photo credits: wdwmagic.com via interpark.co.uk.
