X, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider
Realistic crash test dummies, reportedly all with GPP (Genuine People Personalities). Photo credits: wdwmagic.com via interpark.co.uk.

Disney testing new lifelike crash test dummies in Tomorrowland

"Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!" BAY LAKE, FLORIDA -- On Monday, the Disney blogosphere went into overdrive after supposedly spotting a top secret preview of the new Tron Lightcycle Run attraction at Disney's Magic Kingdom.  However, Uncle Walt's Insider can confirm it was not a preview. Instead, Disney is testing out new top secret ride test dummies that are apparently incredibly lifelike. We got a text from our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson, Jun Disney (no relation), who said, "Ignore what you ... Read more
The future CEO of Disney? Photo by Neon Tommy [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Lane Kiffin confirms interest in Disney CEO job

This gives us an idea for an article series... OXFORD, MS -- Ole Miss football coach Lane Kiffin is interested in taking a new job as the CEO of The Walt Disney Company, sources tell Uncle Walt's Insider. Per a tweet from an unnamed ESPN Staffer [Ed.: Tell me it's not Herbie again. Please do not say Kirk Herbstreit!] named Kirk [Ed.: Dang it.], Coach Kiffin is currently reaching out to Disney company representatives about the opportunity. As usual, we're ahead of these rumors. ... Read more

An Open Letter to Bob Iger

Let's go, Brandon? Absolutely not. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD-- Dear Bob, Can we call you Bob? We feel like we've known each other for years. Plus, you strike us as a somewhat informal type of person. But, anyways, we wanted to offer you some advice. We know you're going to get tons of advice rolling in from everywhere. You've got a tall task. Only 2 years to figure out a worthy successor to the title of CEO of The Walt Disney Company. We ... Read more
Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

Ads, no ads, or really specific ads – new Disney+ tiers announced

This article brought to you by Disney+, unless you pay us. GLENDALE-ISH, CA -- Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is continuing his practice of adding charges to things that used to be free! During a recent earnings call, Chapek announced that streaming service Disney+ will be adding advertisements, but that an ad-free experience would still be available -- for an additional fee, of course. Our intrepid reporters [Ed.: I don't think our reporters have been intrepid since Covid hit] were able to discover the ... Read more
The Iguanodon, or as the other dinos call it, the "Scab-osaurus." Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Disney Carnotauruses (Carnotauri?) vote to unionize

Just more bad news for Disney out of Florida. DINOLAND, USA -- In what is believed to be a first [Ed.: A first for Disney? A first for animatronic figures? A first for dinosaurs? We need details, people.], the animatronic Carnotauruses from the Dinosaur! ride at Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park and Spa have voted to unionize. The union vote was held last week, and passed by a surprisingly large majority. Dinosaur (the creatures) spokesperson and interpreter Jun Dino (no relation) said that ... Read more