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Step-planDisney: Coconut allergies at WDW

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Are there any drupe/coconut producing trees at Walt Disney World? I’ve seen multiple palms in bloom, but do not know what species are there." – Rosalee M. M., Arkansas Walt: Hi Peggy. Thanks for asking. You can find coconut-flavored Dole Whips in the ... Read more
Viewing a total Sonny Eclipse is much more amazing than just a partial Sonny Eclipse. Photo by Jeff Geerling [CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 DEED] via Flickr, & Disney.

Tips for the best eclipse viewing at Walt Disney World

How long has this story been in our queue? KING CHARLES III IMPROVEMENT DISTRICT, FLORIDA -- People across North America are excited about the eclipse that will be happening on Monday, April 8th. [Ed.: "Will be"?] Although the "cone of totality" comes nowhere near Florida, we have good news for people who will be vacationing at Walt Disney World. You'll still be able to see an eclipse. That's right! Galactic Recording artist Sonny Eclipse has announced a new residency at Walt Disney World. The ... Read more

Reasons why Uncle Walt’s Insider hasn’t published any new content lately

Did our writers go on strike, and Walt didn't even notice? UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD - Faithful readers to this site [Ed.: We have those?] may have noticed a lot of, well, nothing lately. No doubt, this caused you to think "Wait, does the site still exist?" Which would be a very valid question. The answer, dear reader, is, of course, Yes. We do still exist. We still churn out [Ed.: not-so] copious quantities of award-winning satire. So where have we been? Here's ... Read more
The change will, of course, come with a price increase. Photo by Coolcaesar [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney hires Pepsi CFO; menu changes coming soon?

Will Disney replace the current overpriced sugar water with worse overpriced sugar water? BURBANK, CA -- In a recent corporate shuffle, the Walt Disney Company welcomed Hugh Johnston, the former CFO of PepsiCo, as their new Chief Financial Officer. While the financial world buzzes with this significant appointment, whispers suggest that there might be a subtle yet significant change brewing within Disney's iconic parks. The relationship between Disney and Coca-Cola has been as enduring as a timeless fairy tale, interwoven in the fabric ... Read more
Maybe they'll call it "Monstro's Whale Tail" for a while. Photo © Disney, Carnival Corp., maybe.

Is Disney tracking guests via “NSA” desserts?

The intelligence community is really into sugar-free cooking, apparently. CASTAWAY CAY, BAHAMAS -- Picture yourself aboard the magnificent Disney Fantasy cruise ship, where dreams come true, enchantment knows no bounds, and your bank account never recovers. Amidst the grandeur and wonder, an unexpected twist unfolds – you spy [Heh] a mysterious dessert labeled "NSA Apple Turnovers" in Cabana's buffet. What gives? While Disney insists that "NSA" stands for "No Sugar Added," rumors abound that this sweet dessert reveals a secret alliance with the ... Read more