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What fireworks looked like before they were forced to wear masks. Photo by Candace Lindemann [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Maskless fireworks returning to Walt Disney World

So apparently when you wrap a fireworks shell in a mask, it doesn't work the same? Huh. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- As billions of guests once again pass through Disney parks turnstiles each day around the globe, one thing has been missing: fireworks. It's been over a year since Disney put on a fireworks show. Or so we thought -- Disney (the company) insists that the fireworks never left! A muffled Fantasy in the Sky "The fireworks?" Disney (the company) spokeschickperson Disney (no relation) explains, "We've ...
June 28, 2021 by Walt in Florida
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Someone got a little carried away with the "no mask" celebration! Photo by Carlos [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

Cast Member “working with” Mickey Mouse misunderstands “no mask” rule, ruins magic for many

Warning to anyone who believes the theme park characters are real and not humans in a costume: don't read this article. Or this warning. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney Cast Member Fabiana Cooper, whose name is being withheld for employee discipline reasons, caused a stir yesterday at the Magic Kingdom. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) gave Uncle Walt's Insider the details. "The unnamed Cast Member [Ed.: Fabiana Cooper] misunderstood the new rules," said Disney (no relation). "We had announced ...
June 19, 2021 by Marty in Florida
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Someone who wasn't elected to anything "prepping" to represent our country. Inset photo by Kjersti Holmang [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikipedia.

Jill Biden animatronic coming to Hall of Presidents

She was getting tired of controlling him from offstage. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Only a few months after Magic Kingdom's Hall of Presidents installed its newest animatronic, another one is coming! Disney announced today that a Jill Biden animatronic likeness will be joining her husband. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) said the move was a practical one. "The Biden (Joe) animatronic continues to malfunction," Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider, on the condition of anonymity [Note: look that word ...
June 13, 2021 by Marty in Florida
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Top 12 little-known facts about Space Mountain!

Top 10 little-known facts about Space Mountain!

Our little-"known" facts series continues! Ah, Space Mountain -- it's everyone's favorite ride in the world that combines both space and mountains. But do you know all there is to know about it? If not, don't despair! Uncle Walt's Insider is here to provide some incredible, newly-written-discovered trivia about Space Mountain! There are multiple Space Mountains in Disney parks around the world -- and they are identical in every way! Except for their differences. Space Mountain is misnamed - most of the ride takes place on ...
June 4, 2021 by Marty in California, Florida, Spotlight, World
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Hard to believe we used to breathe air that hadn't been sucked through a dirty rag! Photo by JeffChristiansen [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Report: Guests at Walt Disney World frightened to see actual human faces

Giant mice and dogs used to be the main fear. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Cast Members at the Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, and Sanitorium are sharing a new phenomenon with Uncle Walt's Insider: fear of seeing uncovered human faces. "We used to only have to deal with small kids being afraid of the characters," shared Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "But now that we've relaxed the masking requirement, we see people of every age freaking out all over ...
June 1, 2021 by Marty in Florida
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