Pictured: artist's concept of the pirate-...ing.
BATUU, OUTER RIM -- Guests aboard the Halcyon starcruiser had a frightening experience recently in the Outer Rim Territories. A group of pirates, believed to be hiding out at Black Spire Outpost, boarded the starcruiser with blasters drawn and threatening guests and crew.
The Halcyon, a Corellian MPO-1400 model starcruiser (home port: Nassau, The Bahamas), is a 100-cabin vessel hailed as the "jewel of the Chandrila Star Line."
Don't you hate it when your blue shrimp and noodles ...
Just in case the gondolas get stranded again.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's been a while since Disney's Skyliner gondola system crashed and left hundreds of riders stranded in the air for hours. But that doesn't mean that the Mouse isn't ready for the next time it happens!
When the Skyliner first malfunctioned in what is now known as the Great Aerial Stranding of 2019, we learned that each gondola is equipped with an emergency supply kit. These kits, stored under the ...
No, Disney, he's not done with you yet!
TALLAHASSEE, FL - Florida governor Ron DeSantis has been bringing a smackdown to the Disney company lately. Ever since Disney publicly opposed the popular Don't Groom Kids law in Florida (and video leaked of Disney exec meetings admitting they were inserting sexuality into kids' programming), Florida has been finding ways to make them regret it.
DeSantis and the state legislature have repealed the Reedy Creek Improvement District, Disney's self-governing body. And there may be ...
Just more bad news for Disney out of Florida.
DINOLAND, USA -- In what is believed to be a first [Ed.: A first for Disney? A first for animatronic figures? A first for dinosaurs? We need details, people.], the animatronic Carnotauruses from the Dinosaur! ride at Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park and Spa have voted to unionize. The union vote was held last week, and passed by a surprisingly large majority.
Dinosaur (the creatures) spokesperson and interpreter Jun Dino (no relation) said that ...
Aaaand it's not Ellen.
EPCOAT CENTRE, FLORIDA -- Breaking News! Uncle Walt's Insider has confirmed a previously top secret celebrity cameo appearance in the new Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind ride!
In homage to the recently departed Ellen's Energy Adventure, there is a very momentary cameo in the new ride by none other than Bill Nye the Science Guy. Nye starred in the old attraction as a spirit guide, materializing in Ellen's Dream to help her learn about energy.
Contrary to the popular rumor, ...