No one bring nuclear codes to the show, please.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Guests at the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa & Revolutionary Headquarters will soon get an experience never before… um, experienced.
Disney announced today that they will be updating the Magic Kingdom Park (& Spa)’s Hall of Presidents attraction to utilize Artificial Intelligence, including ChatGPT. Now, each audience will experience a unique show, with “original” thoughts from various Presidents for that particular performance.
Yes, but do they have Genuine People Personalities (GPP)?
“We’re very excited about the possibilities,” said Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (not related). “We’ve loaded each animatronic President in the Hall of Presidents with the original President’s personality, habits, and tendencies. For example, President Reagan almost always says, ‘Well…’ when beginning to speak, and Teddy Roosevelt uses the word ‘bully’ quite a lot.”
The current President posed a particular challenge for the AI, according to Disney (no relation). “Yeah, putting words in Joe Biden’s mouth is a problem, since he seems to have trouble in real life just reading from a huge teleprompter. But our Imagineers cracked the code. They just set up a 78% chance that he’ll say something unintelligible, never the same from one speech to the next. Now you can hardly tell the difference!”
Disney (the company) will have the Hall of Presidents animatronics connected to the Internet so that they are up-to-date on current events during every show. Disney (no relation) explained, “By using an alpha version of ChatGPT 5.0, we expect fewer international incidents with the Biden animatronic than with the real one.”
Comment from the Commander in Chief
We reached out to Joe Biden in Washington, DC, and he responded. “Let me tell you, I’m absolutely thrilled to announce that ChatGPT is being added to the animatronic of me at Disney World. This is a big deal, and I mean a BIG deal. ChatGPT is a tremendous language model, one of the best, believe me. It makes my blond leg hairs stand on end. And let me tell you, the folks at Disney, they know a thing or two about criminifizodocious. So when you visit my animatronic, you’ll be able to interact with the ChatGPT version of me and ask all sorts of questions. It’s going to be incredible, folks. I can’t wait for you to see it.”
In response to the President’s comments, Disney (the spokesperson) told Uncle Walt’s Insider, “Oh, no, no, no. Absolutely not. We have no intention of making the animatronic interactive. The Imagineers realized that if they did that, the Trump animatronic would take over the show and it would become a three-hour MAGA rally.”
Also, when asked about potential safety concerns, Disney (the spokesperson) said, “So long as they never get ahold of the nuclear codes, we’ll be fine.”
Have you ever brought nuclear launch codes to the Magic Kingdom? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: We personally want to hear more from William Henry Harrison. Photo by Kjersti Holmang [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikipedia.