Uncle Walt's Insider Florida Archives - Page 5 of 114

The detached head of Figment, now on sale at Mouse Gear, er, the Creations Shop. Photo courtesy viajandoparaorlando.com.

Bob Chapek beheads Figment in a fit of rage

Then they attached a strap and sold it in the Creations Shop! EPCOT, FL -- Tragedy has struck in the midst of the 40th anniversary celebration of EPCOT Centre. During a show celebrating all things Epcot, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek reportedly became angry as Walt Disney's name was mentioned over and over, while no one acknowledged Chapek's contributions to the park. (Those "contributions" include scaled back offerings, price increases, and overall lowering the value of park admission.) Shockingly, when Chapek's anger reached ...

Bob "Bob," about to take his toys and go home. Photo by elisfkc2 [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney files papers to replace Disney name with Chapek’s

We can't wait to visit Walt, er, Bob Chapek World! BURBANK, CA -- A recent SEC filing reveals that Disney intends to replace the Disney name with "Chapek" worldwide, after its current CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. The name change will include the parks, studios, subsidiaries, individual departments, as well as the corporation name itself. Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for more information. More "discussed" than "Disney." Or is that "disgust"? "Yes, boys, it is true," Disney ...

September 12, 2022 by Walt in California, Florida, Other, World

Queen Elizabeth. [Walt: It's supposed to be a picture of the actual Queen Elizabeth II, not a ship.] [Marty: Then you should have provided context. You can't expect me to actually read the article.] [Walt: You literally wrote it!]. Public Domain.

BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth passes away; Disney’s UK Pavilions worldwide to close

Pictured: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Brits and anglophiles worldwide are mourning the passing of the United Kingdom's Queen Elizabeth II. Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that Disney parks worldwide will be closing down their respective U.K. Pavilions for a period of mourning, including the ones at Florida's EPCOT Centre (Disney: "They'll just have to go around"), California's California Adventure, and Disneyland Pyongyang. Uncle Walt's Insider offices will remain open; however, we will have "God Save the ...

September 9, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida, World

Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World closed following Monkeypox outbreak

Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson. Our favorite Disney spokesperson Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ...

September 3, 2022 by Marty in Florida

Hey, look! He's even doing the two-finger point! Photo courtesy TripAdvisor, slightly (?) altered.

Disney to buy Holy Land Experience, replace images of Jesus with CEO Chapek

Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No." ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ...

August 29, 2022 by Walt in Florida