Florida Archives | Page 5 of 91 |
Dreamfinder and Figment infected? No surprise -- they aren't ever socially distanced from each other! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Dreamfinder and Figment in quarantine due to Covid-19

They're normally inseparable, so we imagine (get it?) quarantine together won't be too difficult. EPCOT, FL -- As the parks prepare to re-open, Disney has started to share what attractions, restaurants, and characters will be available. But notably missing from this list is Dreamfinder and Figment! Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for details. Innooooculation, innooooculation... "Sadly, yes, Dreamfinder and Figment will not be available. While HIPPA prevents us from discussing the details, I'll tell ... Read more
Not suitable to be worn at Walt Disney World. At least not as a mask. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

Disney: Gators are not acceptable face masks

We tried wearing a gator as a face mask. It wasn't comfortable. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney officials are hard at work learning about potential guest behavior during their phased re-opening of the parks. Based on their observations, Disney has modified their face mask policy, banning the wearing of gators as face masks. This is news you will only read at Uncle Walt's Insider. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) shared the following: Follow the bouncing virus "During this phased re-opening, we ... Read more
Colin Kaepernick, looking quite at home at Disneyland. Photo by Melissa Hillier [CC BY-2.0] via Wikimedia.

Kaepernick’s Disney deal: millions per year to sit on benches

The former NFL player will rotate between Disney's U.S. theme parks and spend time on several benches in each one. BURBANK, CA -- Details have emerged about Colin Kaepernick's new contract with The Disney Company. Apparently the activist and shoe salesman is being paid millions of dollars to sit on benches at various Disney theme parks. Uncle Walt's Insider spoke to Kaepernick's agent, who told us, "It's not big thing for him. He's used to getting paid to sit. This job is definitely ... Read more
The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution is on the warpath. Wait, can we say 'warpath'? Photo Public Domain.

Walt Disney canceled? Name to be removed from parks and movies worldwide

We kind of figured this would have to happen eventually. BURBANK, CA -- Officials at the Company announced today that they are erasing 's name from films, theme parks, and products world-wide. (the company) spokesperson Jun (no relation) shared the reasoning. " was a backwards thinker. And he had a major part in creating things that can never see the light of day again, including Song of the South, Nazi-loving Donald Duck, and cream cheese-filled pretzels. Because of this, ... Read more
Poster for "Hamilton Live! Featuring the Muppets." Image © 2020 Disney (perhaps modified. A bit).

Hall of Presidents to be replaced with “Hamilton Live! Featuring the Muppets”!

It combines two things everyone loves: Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Miss Piggy as Angelica (and maybe Eliza, too). BAY LAKE, FL -- The Walt Disney Company has announced yet another major change coming to the Magic Kingdom, this time in Liberty Square. The venerable Hall of Presidents is scheduled to be replaced with a puppet show about a Secretary of the Treasury. That's right. The Hall of Presidents is being replaced by Hamilton, as portrayed by the Muppets. Something about Corporate Synergy Josh D'Amaro, Chairman ... Read more