Florida Archives - Page 5 of 114 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World closed following Monkeypox outbreak

Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson. Our favorite Disney spokesperson Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ...
September 3, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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Hey, look! He's even doing the two-finger point! Photo courtesy TripAdvisor, slightly (?) altered.

Disney to buy Holy Land Experience, replace images of Jesus with CEO Chapek

Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No." ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ...
August 29, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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Not an actual photo of the boarding, but wouldn't it be cool if it happened like this? Artist concept © Lucasfilm & Disney.

Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser raided by pirates

Pictured: artist's concept of the pirate-...ing. BATUU, OUTER RIM -- Guests aboard the Halcyon starcruiser had a frightening experience recently in the Outer Rim Territories. A group of pirates, believed to be hiding out at Black Spire Outpost, boarded the starcruiser with blasters drawn and threatening guests and crew. The Halcyon, a Corellian MPO-1400 model starcruiser (home port: Nassau, The Bahamas), is a 100-cabin vessel hailed as the "jewel of the Chandrila Star Line."  Don't you hate it when your blue shrimp and noodles ...
August 22, 2022 by Walt in Florida, Uncle Walt's Food Blog
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What, no tacos? Photo by DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission, modified.

Disney Skyliner’s new emergency kit: what’s inside

Just in case the gondolas get stranded again. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's been a while since Disney's Skyliner gondola system crashed and left hundreds of riders stranded in the air for hours. But that doesn't mean that the Mouse isn't ready for the next time it happens! When the Skyliner first malfunctioned in what is now known as the Great Aerial Stranding of 2019, we learned that each gondola is equipped with an emergency supply kit. These kits, stored under the ...
June 12, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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Who knows what he's planning next? Oh, wait, we do. Read the article. Why are you reading the copyright notices first anyway? Photo © Disney & SI.com.

Top 13 other things Ron DeSantis may do to punish Disney

No, Disney, he's not done with you yet! TALLAHASSEE, FL - Florida governor Ron DeSantis has been bringing a smackdown to the Disney company lately. Ever since Disney publicly opposed the popular Don't Groom Kids law in Florida (and video leaked of Disney exec meetings admitting they were inserting sexuality into kids' programming), Florida has been finding ways to make them regret it. DeSantis and the state legislature have repealed the Reedy Creek Improvement District, Disney's self-governing body. And there may be ...
May 29, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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