Out with the King James Version, in with the drums and smoke machines.
ORLANDO, FL -- Orlando's #1 [Ed.: Hashtag 1? What does that mean?] tourist attraction, The Holy Land Experience, is making even more drastic changes to grow their attendance. In addition to adding new thrill rides, the park is also changing signage and updating costumes. They hope to attract a younger generation by moving from being a "traditional" to a "contemporary" Bible-based destination.
Holy Land Experience (the theme park) representative, ...
Finally, a true Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow!
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- "It's not a money grab. No, no. We're just fulfilling Walt's original vision for E.P.C.O.T.!"
That's the official word from Disney (the company)'s spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), following news that Spaceship Earth will be converting to a residential apartment block.
"I know we previously planned to make Spaceship Earth into a Death Star," Disney (no relation) explains. "But we found that it's remarkably difficult to get permits for a planet-killing ...
They're really in demand. We should make a killing.
UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Our readers have been clamoring for new additions to the Uncle Walt's Insider Online Mercantile, especially since we've run out of "Surf Svalbard" t-shirts and autographed Baby Yoda plushes. And so we proudly announce the following additions to our store:
Rise of the Resistance Boarding Passes
For folks planning a visit to either Disney's Hollywood Studios in Florida or Disneyland in Disneyland, the new Star Wars attraction is a ...
Like the Good Book says, "Improvise. Adapt. Overcome." No, wait - that was Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak Ridge.
ORLANDO, FL -- Everyone's favorite Orlando-area theme park that isn't Disney or Universal and is also themed to the Bible has fallen on some hard times lately. However, they're not throwing in the towel yet!
In fact, rather than scaling back, the park will be adding thrill rides in hopes of drawing in a whole new crowd. Holy Land Experience (the theme park) spokesperson Jun ...
Here's how the Epcot Construction Closure will affect the average guest. And you.
WORLD SHOWCASE LAGOON, FL -- As we reported, Epcot will be closed for the next two years, at least most of it. And it will affect your vacation. [Ed.: We're assuming here that your vacation will be at Walt Disney World. If you're vacationing in, say, the Black Hills of South Dakota, the Epcot closure is much less likely to affect your plans.]
What we've done here at Uncle Walt's ...