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TTA converts to pedestrian-only attraction. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

Sidewalks replace Peoplemover vehicles at Magic Kingdom

Feet: the original "people mover." MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Just in time for the amazing summer weather in Florida, officials at Walt Disney World have re-opened the Tomorrowland Transit Authority Peoplemover -- after the installation of sidewalks. Disney (the company) spokesthey [Ed.: What?] Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our imbedded reporters [Ed.: What exactly are they imbedded in? And is it toxic?], exclaiming, "After a lengthy downtime of over one year, the future of transportation is here!" "Futuristic" "The new TTA Peoplemover is going ... Read more
Sex reassignment surgery comes to Disney. It probably won't be the last. Photos via Resetera.com.

Morocco Pavilion undergoes sex change, now identifies as “Moroccette”

Will other Pavilions do the same? We're looking at you, France. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Goodbye, Morocco. Hello, Morrocette? Disney officials announced today that the Morocco Pavilion at the EPCOT Theme Park, Resort, Spa & Institute for Gender Studies has undergone gender reassignment surgery. The land in the World Showcase portion of the park will now identify as the "Moroccette" Pavilion. After the pavilion's, er, gender-specific area was surgically altered, as seen in the photos above, the number of guests wanting to ... Read more
A rare photo of the sentient Speedway cars, taken just before the ride closed. Photo by Theme Park Tourist [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons, modified.

Self-driving Tesla cars coming to Autopia and Tomorrowland Speedway

Could you program in a different destination? GLENDALE, CA -- Are the cars in Disneyland's Autopia and the Magic Kingdom's Tomorrowland Speedway being replaced with self-driving Teslas? That what some are saying, including our own headline. An anonymous Disney insider who recently left the company [Ed.: Hi, Joe!] has leaked a document detailing a new relationship between Elon Musk's Tesla and Disney. The document provides for attraction sponsorship by Tesla, a sponsorship that will bring self-driving, all-electric cars to Disneyland's Autopia and the ... Read more
A very obviously non-mask-wearing Trader Sam. Photo by Steven Miller [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Trader Sam kicked out of Jungle Cruise for not wearing a mask

Next they'll come for the non-mask wearing animals. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- When the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa re-opened last year, Disney required guests and Cast Members to wear masks 100% of the time while on WDW property. The mandate included mask-wearing while walking, running, standing, eating, drinking, sleeping, swimming, bathing, showering, and enjoying the resort's rides, shows, and other entertainment options. Despite this mandate, one man openly defied the policy for months without consequence. Well, not any more. Trader ... Read more
I jumped my boat through a burnin' ring of fire.... Photo bits assembled from DisneyFoodBlog, WDW News Today, BlogMickey.

Harmonious to feature Friendship Boat jump, score by Johnny Cash

Hopefully it won't burn, burn, burn any of the performers. EPCOT, FL -- As Disney continues work on the weather control barges at EPCOT, recent filings with the Reedy Creek Improvement District show that these barges have another purpose. It might be that they will also take part in a new nighttime show coming to EPCOT, known internally to Disney as "Harmonious." While the actual show name is being kept secret from the public, we have an idea of what to expect from ... Read more