Walt, Author at | Page 4 of 34
Not suitable to be worn at Walt Disney World. At least not as a mask. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

Disney: Gators are not acceptable face masks

We tried wearing a gator as a face mask. It wasn't comfortable. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney officials are hard at work learning about potential guest behavior during their phased re-opening of the parks. Based on their observations, Disney has modified their face mask policy, banning the wearing of gators as face masks. This is news you will only read at Uncle Walt's Insider. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) shared the following: Follow the bouncing virus "During this phased re-opening, we ... Read more
The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution is on the warpath. Wait, can we say 'warpath'? Photo Public Domain.

Walt Disney canceled? Name to be removed from parks and movies worldwide

We kind of figured this would have to happen eventually. BURBANK, CA -- Officials at the Company announced today that they are erasing 's name from films, theme parks, and products world-wide. (the company) spokesperson Jun (no relation) shared the reasoning. " was a backwards thinker. And he had a major part in creating things that can never see the light of day again, including Song of the South, Nazi-loving Donald Duck, and cream cheese-filled pretzels. Because of this, ... Read more
Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

Cinderella Castle vandalized, painted pink

Just one more thing to clean up after the Main Street Autonomous Zone. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Disney officials are scrambling after discovering Cinderella Castle was painted pink at some point during the shutdown. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our reporter. "Since we've all been working at home, including our maintenance teams, no one has been seen the castle since March!" Prep for reopening Disney (no relation) continued, "The Bobs told the parks they should probably get ready for ... Read more
The return of Flash Mountain. Photo by Matthew Freeman [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

New Orleans theming = the return of “Flash Mountain”

If the new attraction looks like Mardi Gras, "flashing" will actually add to the realism. GLENDALE, CA -- The Internet nearly shut down recently after news that Disney would be re-theming Splash Mountain to The Princess and the Frog, the story of Tiana, princess of Genovia Arendelle New Orleans. [Ed.: It's been a while since we watched it.] Now that the dust has settled and keyboard warriors everywhere have been distracted by other news, details are coming out about what we can expect from ... Read more
Is... is Mickey pointing to Walt, like "Take him! Take him first!"??? Because that's what it seems like. Photo by Steven Miller [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr & Pixabay.

“Young” Walt Disney statue the next to go?

Pulling down statues may prevent past "atrocities." Like Song of the South? ANAHEIM, CA -- The statue of noted oppressor Mickey Mouse was toppled last week at Disneyland, leaving many Disney fans asking, "What's next?" [Ed.: Actually, only a few asked "What's next?" The majority of questions we got after that article ran were, "Is this real?," followed by "What?," "Can I get Marty's number?," and "When does Disneyland Escanaba reopen?"] Apparently, "what's next" may be the statue of the young Walt Disney at ... Read more