They probably shouldn't build it next to the Russia Pavilion.
WORLD SHOWCASE LAGOON, FL -- Bob "Bob" Chapek has announced that he intends to bring a new country to EPCOT: Ukraine! Chapek probably said this in a phone call with our own Uncle Walt.
"As I was counting money with the news playing in the background, I suddenly had this great and innovative idea come to mind. I phoned up the boys in Glendale, and after a quick discussion we have decided ...
This nickel-and-diming has got to stop.
TOONTOWN, USA -- In a statement released today, Donald Duck has announced that he is joining with Mickey Mouse in a push to oust Disney CEO, Bob "Bob" Chapek. We think Donald said, "While the so-called CEO continues to avoid guests and raise prices, one thing that is overlooked is OUR ability to keep up with the rising costs! I get it, guests are here for a few days, maybe a week, and they are able ...
The fact that Disney will now get federal health care funds is "not another money grab," according to CEO Chapek.
BURBANK, CA -- In a recent call with investors, Bob "Bob" Chapek, CEO of the Disney Company, announced plans to relabel the Disney theme parks as health care facilities, primarily to be able to rake in federal health funds. The newly renamed "Disney Parks, Experiences, and Hospice Care" division will begin accepting Medicare/Medicaid payments within a few months.
Citing lower guest satisfaction, ...
We assume the deal includes the parks. City parks, that is.
CUPERTINO, CA -- In a recently leaked memo from CEO Tim "Bob" Cook, it appears that Apple, the first company to hit $3 Trillion in valuation, is poised to spend some of their stockpiled cash on acquiring Disney! Fans of Mickey Mouse dismayed by our misleading headline need not worry, however.
In the leaked memo, Cook allegedly says, "Disney, Oklahoma, has a low population, and our research has shown that it would ...
You put your Elon in, you take your Chapek out... Admit it, you started to sing that.
BURBANK, CA -- According to several unreliable news outlets, former Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger is set to take over for Bob "Bob" Chapek as CEO of the Disney company. These reports cite numerous complaints against Chapek, but mainly his overuse of the word "magical" [Ed.: Especially all those "magical" new fees for guests, right?]
Despite these hopeful rumors of a triumphant return of Bob "Bob" Iger ...