Finally, proof of the long-rumored Disney weather technology.
E.P.C.O.T. CENTRE, FL -- As Disney struggles with the dome over Walt Disney World, they have made the bold move to bring the machines they use to control the weather into full view of guests.
The devices were originally thought to be part of a new nighttime spectacular rumored to debut at EPCOT [Ed.: Can't believe fireworks were cancelled under this woke culture]. But Uncle Walt's Insider can now confirm that the new structures in ...
One person in America still has original ideas.
GLENDALE, CA -- Elon Musk has joined Disney's Imagineering as a creative consultant. [Ed.: Didn't we just say that in the headline?]
Uncle Walt's Insider found that the move came after Disney was looking for some sort of ideas for new attractions to put into the parks, but admitted they were out of original ideas and could only turn to Hollywood. And then they discovered that Hollywood is also out of original ideas.
Disney (the company) spokesperson ...
And then they invited us to stay for dinner!
MIDDLE OF THE JUNGLE -- As Disney fans react to the announcement from Disney about the upcoming changes to the beloved ride The Jungle Cruise, Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to a previously un-contacted tribe to get their reaction.
Initially we were concerned when the men of the tribe approached us with bows and spears, but after Uncle Walt offered them churros, we think we were welcomed as part of the tribe. It appears ...
It's being temporarily renamed "Pirate's Covid at Tom Sawyer Island"
ANAHEIM, CA -- Stymied in their efforts to open their theme parks, Disney has joined the fight against Covid-19.
The Disney Company announced today that Tom Sawyer Island at the Disneyland Park will become a Covid-19 ward. Disney has already outfitted the island with the necessary medical equipment and trained Cast Members to handle Covid-19 patients.
They won't put patients in Dead Man's Grotto, will they?
A temporary bridge is being constructed to get ...
We're looking forward to walking our luggage from the airport to Walt Disney World.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Walt Disney World recently gave us the totally exciting and not-at-all upsetting news that in 2022, the Disney's Magical Express service will be eliminated completely. With no more Magical Express, guests will be forced to hop into the nearest ride-share, cab, or overpriced car transfer service, to reach the Most Magical Place on Earth. Also, Extra Magic Hours are not returning, except for ...