We’ll miss them. Some of them.
MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — Guests visiting the Shanghai Disney Resort, Spa, and Re-education Center have enjoyed the Tron Lightcycle Run attraction for decades [Ed.: decades?]. And while it may seem “old and busted” in Shanghai, it is the “new hotness” at the Magic Kingdom, which of course is in the heart of Florida at the newly re-dedicated Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, and De-programming center.
However, the opening of the attraction has been delayed, due to an rumored incident involving riders being inadvertantly “derezzed.” (Derezzing, in the Tron universe, means that the person or thing is digitally deconstruction or dissolved. Permanently.)
If true, it means that the derezzed guests will, shall we say, not be using the remaining days on their season passes. We reached out to our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson, Jun Disney (no relation), for details.
Great way to save on storage costs, but kind of risky
Disney (no relation) shared, “Yes, it is true. At the end of the night, it’s standard operating procedure to derez all of the trains. This way we don’t have to build out an extra storage and maintenance facility. We just delete them and load them again in the morning. It works great, but you do have to be careful that there aren’t any riders still onboard.
“It turns out that the guests involved were all from various Disney blogs, vlogs, and… clogs? I believe they included the entire staff of WDWNT [Ed: Both of them???], AJ from DFB, Paging Mr Morrow, Tim Tracker, and a few others.
“So what happened was, the Cast Members failed to follow step 29 in section 8.3 of the Tron Lightcycle Run manual that says to distract the Master Control Program (MCP). Turns out someone had connected the MCP to the internet, and it started to watch, and build a hatred for, some Disney YouTubers. He saw his chance and derezzed them all.”
Good news all around
So, we supposed, we shouldn’t expect any new content from those vloggers and bloggers and cloggers, we asked?
“Not for a while at least,” Disney (no relation) replied. “We have our I.T. staff looking into whether there’s a residual digital image of the riders in the memory so we can rerez them, but they’re not in a great hurry. The best news is that the ride itself was not affected. We’re just delaying the opening to retrain the cast, to ensure they distract the MCP at the end of the night.
“Oh, and there’s a warning about potential derezzing in the fine print on our ticket purchase agreements now, so we can’t get sued. Basically, there’s no downside to what happened!”
Can you trust the MCP? We can! Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: For these riders, it truly was a once-in-a-lifetime experience! Photo © Disney via Tron Wiki.