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The return of Flash Mountain. Photo by Matthew Freeman [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

New Orleans theming = the return of “Flash Mountain”

If the new attraction looks like Mardi Gras, "flashing" will actually add to the realism. GLENDALE, CA -- The Internet nearly shut down recently after news that Disney would be re-theming Splash Mountain to The Princess and the Frog, the story of Tiana, princess of Genovia Arendelle New Orleans. [Ed.: It's been a while since we watched it.] Now that the dust has settled and keyboard warriors everywhere have been distracted by other news, details are coming out about what we can expect from ... Read more
Is... is Mickey pointing to Walt, like "Take him! Take him first!"??? Because that's what it seems like. Photo by Steven Miller [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr & Pixabay.

“Young” Walt Disney statue the next to go?

Pulling down statues may prevent past "atrocities." Like Song of the South? ANAHEIM, CA -- The statue of noted oppressor Mickey Mouse was toppled last week at Disneyland, leaving many Disney fans asking, "What's next?" [Ed.: Actually, only a few asked "What's next?" The majority of questions we got after that article ran were, "Is this real?," followed by "What?," "Can I get Marty's number?," and "When does Disneyland Escanaba reopen?"] Apparently, "what's next" may be the statue of the young Walt Disney at ... Read more
The elusive Disney social distancing sticker. Photo by Jukeboxprint.com, modified.

Disneyland delays reopening due to shortage of social distancing stickers

"Without these stickers strategically placed on the ground, how will guests know when they are at least 6 feet apart!?!?" ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney will delay the re-opening of Disneyland -- but only due to the lack of social distancing stickers. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) stated, "We were all set to re-open Disneyland. We have stockpiled enough hand sanitizer to flood a small town (in addition to the walk-through vats), there are hand washing stations setup every 15 ... Read more
Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Antifa pulls down statue of “historic oppressor” Mickey Mouse

Where will it end? DISNEYLAND, CA -- Chanting "Hey, ho, the mouse must go," protesters toppled the Mickey Mouse portion of the famed Partners Statue at Disneyland yesterday. A spokesperson for the protesters, Jun "Auntie" Fa (no relation), read a statement to Uncle Walt's Insider. We'd give you the whole thing here, but it was riddled with grammatical errors and poor reasoning, and we're not WDWNTT. Basically, it denounced "almost 100 years" of "rodent-based capitalistic terrorism" on the "poor downtrodden park-goers of the ... Read more
Non-socially distanced villains at Walt Disney World. Photo by Leigh Caldwell [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

MNSSHP replaced with Mickey’s VERY Scary No-Mask Party

Headless horsemen are not nearly as scary as invisibly virus particles. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney announced yesterday that it was canceling the crowd favorite Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Parties (called "MNSSHP" or "Menship" by fans) this year. Instead, they're ramping up the terror with an all new "Mickey's VERY Scary No-Mask Halloween Party" ("MSNBC," pronounced "Rubbish"). Now it won't be just Disney villains who are not wearing masks! No one attending the MRCVS will be allowed to wear a mask. ... Read more