The fact that Disney will now get federal health care funds is “not another money grab,” according to CEO Chapek.
BURBANK, CA — In a recent call with investors, Bob “Bob” Chapek, CEO of the Disney Company, announced plans to relabel the Disney theme parks as health care facilities, primarily to be able to rake in federal health funds. The newly renamed “Disney Parks, Experiences, and Hospice Care” division will begin accepting Medicare/Medicaid payments within a few months.
Citing lower guest satisfaction, Chapek said Disney needs to find creative ways to help raise money guest satisfaction.
A healthy guest is a happy guest?
When asked if this was just another money grab by Disney, Chapek quickly became defensive and stated that guest satisfaction is a health care issue.
Pressed for a further explanation, Chapek huffily reasoned that guest satisfaction goes down when there is fear of Covid. And because the Supreme Court struck down the vax mandate for non-health care businesses, accepting Medicaid and Medicare would allow Disney to force-vaccinate their employees, so guests would not be as scared. Or something.
Makes as much sense as other stuff he’s doing
When we pointed out that the decision would also allow Disney to pull in federal health care funds, including Covid relief, Medicare, Medicaid. etc., Chapek snapped, “just because I’m doing everything I can to raise revenue does not mean this is just another money grab!” A source present during the meeting said that Chapek then stormed out of the room like an angry toddler, clutching his Mickey Mouse plush toy tightly while drinking his juicy-juice from his sippy-sip cup.
On the plus side, being able to use Medicaid for park admission should boost Walt Disney World attendance by Florida residents.
This is really just another money grab, amirite? Let us know in the comments below!
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Cover photo: Sweet, sweet, federal taxpayer money. Photo via Pixabay, modified.
