The Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: So I see Disney opposed a law against teaching 5-8 years about sexual lifestyles. With that in mind, when is the best age to first take my kids to Walt Disney World?" - Madelyn Martin, Topeka KS
Hi, Mad. 27.
Chapek: "I wrote the script myself."
REEDY CREEK, FL -- There's a new stage show coming soon to the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa & Alternative Lifestyle Exploration Center! In a new bid to drive the Disney Company into the ground and keep California's lights on, the Forecourt Stage at Cornelius (formerly Cinderella) Castle (she's a dude now) will host a cavalcade of Disney characters dressed in rainbow colors, all chanting and singing nothing but the word "gay" for 25 minutes!
This stance is "just as likely to be popular as the last one!"
BR'ER BANK, CA -- The Disney Company has taken a beating recently over its political stances. Once the most trusted name in family entertainment, a recent poll shows that level of trust down to 54% overall. With some subgroups, the trust in Disney's programming is as low as 23%.
"Our leaders are a bit confused," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "All we did was push back hard ...
Apparently Walt isn't happy.
BURBANK, CA -- Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past.
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal.
"The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for things that used to be free for guests," Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider. "That was unsettling, sure, but Bob's pretty used to the visits by now."
"You learn ...
Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay."
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida.
"It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...