Even malfunctioning, it's still more coherent than the real thing.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have "taken advantage of a unique time in history," Uncle Walt's Insider has learned.
"We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden," said our source, who wishes to remain anonymous. Disney (no relation) continued, "And we have a Biden animatronic in the Hall of Presidents, and a resort in California that's been shut down for ...
It's 100% effective at stopping the virus, and can be made with common household materials.
COLLEGE STATION, TX -- This may be the break Disneyland officials have been waiting for! Researchers at the Texas A&M University Department of Biotechnology and Concrete Husbandry have announced a new masking solution that is 100% effective at preventing the spread of Covid-19.
"It's so simple, we don't know why we didn't think of it before," says A&M (the college) spokesperson Jun Aggie (no relation). "We've been using ...
The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear (Step)Moms: What are your favorite movies? Most Sincerely Yours," Elmo - Edina, MN
Hi, Edina! We're honored that such a talented singer and actress is a fan of Uncle Walt's Insider! But please, do not sing Let It Go. You'll just ...
It's only recently been installed, but it seems to have the same glitches as on the campaign trail.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Magic Kingdom Park's Hall of Presidents attraction is reportedly closed after the animatronic figure of President* Joe Biden began malfunctioning, less than ten days after it was installed.
Reports from insiders say that the figure would randomly say things not in the script, like "salute the Marines" and "I don't know what I'm signing." And recently, the figure announced it ...
Oddly, it arrived back from the DNC in a box labeled "John Gill."
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom already has a new occupant. President* Joe Biden's animatronic was installed within minutes of his swearing-in.
Normally the process of creating and installing a new presidential animatronic takes months after a change in administration. But this time, Disney was prepared.
"Not a lot of wear"
"We've actually had the audio-animatronic built for months," says Disney (the company) ...