Uncle Walt's Insider Marty, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider

Probably also the color is draining out. Photo by Michael Gray Wantagh [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

The truth about Extra Magic Hour elimination: Disney is running out of magic

Maybe cloth face masks filter out the magic? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Fans of the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa are still reeling over the loss of the Magical Express and Extra Magic Hours [Ed.: And pavement]. But like seemingly everything else these days, there is worse news behind the bad news. Disney has almost completely exhausted its store of magic. "We've been draining our magic supplies like crazy in the past few months," confesses Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney ...

January 19, 2021 by Marty in California, Florida, World

Now that he can't tweet, think of what he'll do with all this new time on his hands! Image © Disney.

Twitter permanently bans @RealDonaldDuck

First they came for the ducks, but I did not speak out because I was not a duck... SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Complete Unbiased® social media giant Twitter is permanently banning the @RealDonaldDuck account from ever tweeting again. Head Twit Jack Dorsey announced the move today. "We try to understand The Donald's tweets, but they are just uncomprehensible most of the time. So given his anger issues and his blatant Nazi past, we figured he must be inciting violence." Uncle Walt's Insider will keep ...

January 13, 2021 by Marty in Other

A barricade at the entrance to the Main Street U.S.A. Autonomous Zone, which they're claiming isn't in the U.S.A.? Photo courtesy disneyparks.com, mynorthwest.com, & kennythepirate.com.

Disneyland declares itself “autonomous zone,” opens in defiance of Newsom ban

Throw a few barricades and hand-painted signs in front of the security checkpoints, and they're good to go! ANAHEIM, CA -- Borrowing an idea from Seattle protestors, today the Disney Company declared the Disneyland Resort an "autonomous zone" and opened the parks. The move comes in defiance of a ban by California Governor Gavin Newsom (D). Disney CEO Bob "Robert" Chapek tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "I don't know why we hadn't thought of this before. I mean, the Florida properties have had their own ...

January 4, 2021 by Marty in California

Uncle Walt’s Insider: Our predictions for 2021

The Uncle Walt's Insider team discusses what 2021 has in store for us. Marty: Do we really want to do a prediction article? I mean, it's still December when we're writing this. I'm not convinced we're even going to make it to 2021. Walt: Marty, not if you keep eating those cookies from 2018 that you found in Harriet’s desk. I do think we should do a prediction article. It’s all the rage for a new year. Maybe a top 100 countdown as well? And ...

January 1, 2021 by Marty in Spotlight

(Step)Moms Panel: How ofte… // If Texas secedes, will Six Flags become Seven Flags?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: how often do u pee?" - joe, "here" Grogu: Marty: I'm with you, B.Y. Absolutely not. Next question? "Dear (Step)Moms: With everything going on about the Texas lawsuit and the possibility of secession between U.S.A Republican and Democrat states. Would Six Flags be ...

December 29, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney