Uncle Walt’s Insider: Our predictions for 2021

The Uncle Walt’s Insider team discusses what 2021 has in store for us.

Marty:

Do we really want to do a prediction article? I mean, it’s still December when we’re writing this. I’m not convinced we’re even going to make it to 2021.

Walt:

Marty, not if you keep eating those cookies from 2018 that you found in Harriet’s desk.

I do think we should do a prediction article. It’s all the rage for a new year. Maybe a top 100 countdown as well? And we should put on Uncle Walt’s New Years Rockin’ Eve! Totally original name I just came up with by the way. We could simulcast it from you guys in Svalbard and me in my new condo down in the Bahamas.

Marty:

Bahamas? Does this mean you won’t be hanging around the office now?

Walt:

As long as the temperatures stay below 85°F, yes.

Marty:

Hey guys, check out the 2021 prediction article — no more Walt around the office most days! Woohoo! No more dress code, and we finally might get the good snacks before they disappear. (Still no Speedos, Ub.) Good riddance, “Walt,” if that is your real name!!

Marty:

I posted that in the wrong thread, didn’t I?

Walt:

…

Good news boys, I found enough money in the budget to commute back and forth. I’ll also keep the office at 85°F while I am in the office. The standard heat shut-off policy will remain in place when I am absent to save money. Also, I had to eliminate the snack budget.

Grogu:

Walt:

Grogu, you’ll be coming with me buddy! I’ll show you where I’ll be keeping OUR snacks!

Grogu:

Marty:

Traitor.

Harriet:

Just don’t go to Walt Disney World in 2021. There are enough people there without you.

X:

Ok, predictions for 2021:

• The first day of the year will end in the letter Y.
• As will the last day of the year.
• Gavin Newsom will remain at #1 on Mickey’s Hit List.
• Jim Delaney will still be an idiot.
• We’ll try to write articles that get us featured on Snopes.
• We might actually succeed, but it’ll only be through dumb luck.
• In Joe Biden’s America, the Churro will replace the dollar as the primary form of currency.
• However, Bitchurro will not replace Bitcoin.

.
Sorry, we should probably censor that previous bullet point.

Marty:

One more prediction: Ub will continue to miss deadlines and not get his predictions into a time-sensitive article. (This is retaliation for the “no Speedos” comment above, isn’t it?)

What do you think will happen this year? Comment below!

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Cover photo: A pretty graphic which says “We predict 2021” and has the UWI logo. Image [CC0] courtesy Pixabay.