Say Ya to da UP, eh!
ESCANABA, MI — Following the recent discovery of a “Hidden Mickey” in a bowl of breakfast cereal, Disney has announced that they will be building a theme park just outside of Escanaba, Michigan.
Escanaba? Seriously? Escanaba?
Seriously. They said Escanaba.
We caught up with Disney spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for the backstory. “After the discovery of the Hidden Mickey in the Corn Flakes, we took that as a sign that we really should take a closer look at Escanaba. It turns out that it (Escanaba) is an amazingly scenic town in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. We went up there, and we were blown away. The warm waters of Lake Michigan, the delicious pasties, and the friendliness of the Yuppers, it all makes sense.” [Ed.: I believe the term is ‘Yoopers’. They’re in the Upper Peninsula. U-P. Yooper.]
Disney (no relation) continued, “And it’s a perfect fit for Disney, the company. And my family. We’re going to move up there. I think I’m going to need to buy a winter coat. But, I digress. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah.
“I’m sure you know that Tim Allen, who played the voice of Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story, and Toy Story 2, and Toy Story 3, is also the voice of the Pure Michigan commercials. Now he can do a Pure Michigan commercial featuring Buzz. It’s a win-win. Plus, I hear that seeing Escanaba by the moonlight is amazing!” [Ed.: In da moonlight!]
Uncle Walt’s Insider searched through the property tax records in Escanaba, and was unable to find any sales indicating Disney (the company) as a buyer. However, in the past, they have been known to use aliases and fake corporations to complete real estate purchases.
There is no word yet on a potential opening date, but rest assured, Uncle Walt’s Insider will report the news as soon as it happens. Or earlier.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo of possible new Disney park location in Michigan by rmhermen [CC-BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.