Uncle Walt's Insider | Your Super-Reliable Source for Theme Park News
The future CEO of Disney? Photo by Neon Tommy [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Lane Kiffin confirms interest in Disney CEO job

This gives us an idea for an article series... OXFORD, MS -- Ole Miss football coach Lane Kiffin is interested in taking a new job as the CEO of The Walt Disney Company, sources tell Uncle Walt's Insider. Per a tweet from an unnamed ESPN Staffer [Ed.: Tell me it's not Herbie again. Please do not say Kirk Herbstreit!] named Kirk [Ed.: Dang it.], Coach Kiffin is currently reaching out to Disney company representatives about the opportunity. As usual, we're ahead of these rumors. ... Read more

An Open Letter to Bob Iger

Let's go, Brandon? Absolutely not. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD-- Dear Bob, Can we call you Bob? We feel like we've known each other for years. Plus, you strike us as a somewhat informal type of person. But, anyways, we wanted to offer you some advice. We know you're going to get tons of advice rolling in from everywhere. You've got a tall task. Only 2 years to figure out a worthy successor to the title of CEO of The Walt Disney Company. We ... Read more
We suspect Bob took the new sign home with him. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia, & by Disney.

Exclusive: The real reason Chapek was fired!

OnlyFans sponsoring Spaceship Earth? It was a step too far. LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL -- In a move that brought tears of joy to Disney fans around the globe, Bob "Bob" Chapek has been fired as CEO of The Walt Disney Company. Reactions ranged from a ticker-tape parade to one Facebook user saying, "So sad to hear about Chapek. I just can’t stop grinning." But the reason given publicly for his firing (his name being drawn at random from a big lotto ... Read more
Bob "Bob," about to take his toys and go home. Photo by elisfkc2 [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Chapek Nov. 11: “We anticipate staff reductions”; Chapek today: “Dang it.”

Yay, Chapek's gone. Iger will be better. He will be better, right? Hello? BR'ER BANK, CA -- Only days after declaring that the struggling Disney Company would be facing staff reductions, a dejected Bob "Bob" Chapek was seen leaving its headquarters with a box of personal belongings (we're assuming photos with Mickey and his favorite pieces of hate mail). Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) claims the firing of Chapek as CEO was just a bit of bad luck. "He was trying ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk to purchase Uncle Walt’s Insider

He wanted to buy the Babylon Bee, but that's actually worth something. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Fresh off his purchase (and purge) of Twitter, billionaire Elon Musk announced today his plans to purchase Uncle Walt's Insider. The move comes after his first attempt to buy a news satire site, The Babylon Bee, fell through, due to the Bee "actually being worth something." While the final purchase details for Uncle Walt's have not been disclosed (unlike Twitter, U.W.I. is not a publicly ... Read more