Temporary signage for Club 8¼. Photo by HarshLight [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Reminder: Disneyland is at 25% capacity, so Club 33 is temporarily Club 8¼

We were promised there wouldn't be math in this job. ANAHEIM, CA -- While the Disneyland Resort and Viral Spa has reopened to the public (and, surprisingly, not in Texas), it is only allowing up to 25% of its normal capacity through the gates. Therefore: Club 33 is now Club 8¼. Hopeful soon it can be Club 11 or Club 16½. . You're only allowed to have ¼ of the fun of a normal visit. Seriously, Gavin? No screaming on rides? . Mickey balloons ...
May 11, 2021 by Marty in California
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Surprises from the reopened Disneyland

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What has surprised you most about Disneyland since it has reopened? (I assume you've already been there several times.)" - Deena Wilson, Bend OR Marty: Disneyland has reopened? Yeah, right. I've been fooled before. You're not getting me with that line ...
May 8, 2021 by Marty in (Step) Moms Panel
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Disney, er, we mean, Uncle Walt’s Insider Food Blog. Totally original logo not at all influenced by DisneyFoodBlog.com (which we love, btw!).

Uncle Walt’s Insider Food Blog reviews Moff Gideon’s Bakehouse

We review a Sith bakery in honor of Star Wars Day, May the Fourth. And because we're Uncle Walt's Insider, we do it a day late. LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL -- "Come to the dark side," they said. "We have cookies." Now, I'm not sure who the mysterious 'they' is, but I had previously heard and ignored this invitation. After all, I figured the cookies would be something uninteresting. Something like Reduced Fat Chips Ahoy, or the iced sugar cookies that Realtors buy ...
May 5, 2021 by X in Florida, Spotlight
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TTA converts to pedestrian-only attraction. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

Sidewalks replace Peoplemover vehicles at Magic Kingdom

Feet: the original "people mover." MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Just in time for the amazing summer weather in Florida, officials at Walt Disney World have re-opened the Tomorrowland Transit Authority Peoplemover -- after the installation of sidewalks. Disney (the company) spokesthey [Ed.: What?] Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our imbedded reporters [Ed.: What exactly are they imbedded in? And is it toxic?], exclaiming, "After a lengthy downtime of over one year, the future of transportation is here!" "Futuristic" "The new TTA Peoplemover is going ...
May 2, 2021 by Walt in Florida
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No one at Disneyl... Hang on, we publish this at 6 am Pacific Time, well before the park opens. And why would there be sunlight? Photo via Twitter.

Disneyland reopens, no one comes

Our reporter is on the scene! But so far, no one else. DISNEYLAND, CA -- Disneyland has reopened, but apparently no one cares. Your reporter has been on the scene in the Disneyland Plaza for a few hours, but apart from a handful of people meandering towards Downtown Disney, I'm it. I really expected happy, smiling (well, maybe smiling; they'd have masks on) throngs of families lining up to be the first in to a newly-reopened Disneyland. But not only are there no ...
April 29, 2021 by Marty in California
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