Uncle Walt's Insider | Your Super-Reliable Source for Theme Park News
Pretty much the same park, except for the added firepower. Photo lifted from Twitter: @fakethemepark.

Fake Theme Park possibly moving to Texas

Sure, the picture looks the same, but you can tell it's in Texas from all the concealed-carry bulges. TWITTER -- As predicted by absolutely nobody, Fake Theme Park has joined the growing list of entities that have announced they are moving to Texas. In a now-deleted tweet, the popular theme park announced that they would be relocating from their current home in **FILLER TEXT** [Ed.: Be sure to find out where they're located before we publish this!] to a swampy inlet not far from ... Read more
At least no one ever dies inside a Disney park, right? Photo by deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Covid-19 ward opening at Disneyland’s Tom Sawyer Island

It's being temporarily renamed "Pirate's Covid at Tom Sawyer Island" ANAHEIM, CA -- Stymied in their efforts to open their theme parks, Disney has joined the fight against Covid-19. The Disney Company announced today that Tom Sawyer Island at the Disneyland Park will become a Covid-19 ward. Disney has already outfitted the island with the necessary medical equipment and trained Cast Members to handle Covid-19 patients. They won't put patients in Dead Man's Grotto, will they?  A temporary bridge is being constructed to get ... Read more
He looks almost lifelike.

Joe Biden animatronic already installed in Hall of Presidents; “We made it months ago”

Oddly, it arrived back from the DNC in a box labeled "John Gill." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom already has a new occupant. President* Joe Biden's animatronic was installed within minutes of his swearing-in. Normally the process of creating and installing a new presidential animatronic takes months after a change in administration. But this time, Disney was prepared. "Not a lot of wear" "We've actually had the audio-animatronic built for months," says Disney (the company) ... Read more
Probably also the color is draining out. Photo by Michael Gray Wantagh [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

The truth about Extra Magic Hour elimination: Disney is running out of magic

Maybe cloth face masks filter out the magic? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Fans of the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa are still reeling over the loss of the Magical Express and Extra Magic Hours [Ed.: And pavement]. But like seemingly everything else these days, there is worse news behind the bad news. Disney has almost completely exhausted its store of magic. "We've been draining our magic supplies like crazy in the past few months," confesses Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney ... Read more
The new walkway from the Contemporary to the Magic Kingdom. Photo by Sarah Charlesworth [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

WDW drops Magical Express, Extra Magic Hours — and pavement?

We're looking forward to walking our luggage from the airport to Walt Disney World. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Walt Disney World recently gave us the totally exciting and not-at-all upsetting news that in 2022, the Disney's Magical Express service will be eliminated completely. With no more Magical Express, guests will be forced to hop into the nearest ride-share, cab, or overpriced car transfer service, to reach the Most Magical Place on Earth. Also, Extra Magic Hours are not returning, except for ... Read more