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The Trump animatronic; Inset photo: Boris Johnson. Photo by Foreign and Commonwealth Office [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Epcot scraps Mary Poppins ride; adds “Prime Minister’s Questions Experience”

"How can we pass up the opportunity to create a Boris Johnson audio-animatronic?" WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney fans have been excited about the coming Mary Poppins ride at Epcot's United Kingdom Pavilion. (It's apparently still there, even after Brexit!) Well, apparently the plans for that ride have been scrapped. Instead, the Pavilion will get a "Prime Minister's Questions Experience" animatronic show. "It's not that we don't like Mary Poppins," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "It's just that, ... Read more
COVID I, II, & III writer-director George Lucas. Photo by Nicolas Genin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

George Lucas to write, direct COVID 1, 2 & 3 prequels

At least if they're like the Star Wars prequels, they won't be infectious. BURBANK, CA -- Walt Disney Studios announced today that George Lucas is producing a new trilogy for theatrical release based on COVID 19. The new movies, given the working titles of COVID I, II & III, will be written, produced, and directed by the Star Wars creator. Inside sources say that although the movies are slated for wide released, no one is expecting them to spread past the initial curious ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Due to the virus, could Trump and Biden debate as audio-animatronics?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: It looks like people are still fearful of getting the virus, and that there may be fewer presidential debates. I have an idea: Disney could create a Biden audio-animatronic, and then it and the Trump animatronic could debate each ... Read more
No longer soon-to-be-appearing at the American Adventure Pavilion & Donut Shop. Photo by Thomas Hawk [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

Winchell’s Donut House, others on chopping block at EPCOT

No Timbits at Le Cellier, we're sad to report. EPCOT, FL -- As Walt Disney World slowly re-opens, fans everywhere are starting to wonder about the status of the various plans previously announced for the Disney parks. As Disney looks closer at their updated financials, we are said to report that some favorite donut chains will not be appearing after all. The Winchell's Donut House planned for the American Pavilion, the Tim Horton's planned for the Canada Pavilion, and the Mister Donut planned ... Read more
The only symptomatic dwarf. Photo © Disney.

Seven Dwarfs quarantined; only one is symptomatic

He's been "sneezing like crazy." BURBANK, CA -- In a statement released today, the Disney Company announced that all seven dwarfs have been quarantined after possible exposure to COVID-19. Only one is showing any symptoms of the virus. Citing medical privacy laws, the company refused to provide the identity of the symptomatic character. However, they did say he has been "sneezing like crazy." There have been no test results to confirm that the symptoms were caused by the virus. The unnamed individual is ... Read more