To be fair, it might have been in bad taste for Disney to run the ad.
MOSCOW — Sources say that a dejected Vladimir Putin has canceled his planned “I’m going to Disney World” commercial.
“It was going to be epic,” our source reported Putin saying (but in Russian). “We invade Ukraine, and Kyiv falls the same day. And as our army takes control, a voice says, ‘Hey, Vlad, you just conquered a neighboring country! What are you going to do next?’
“Then, after I have that guy shot for impudence and over-familiarity, a second, shakier, but much more deferential voice says, ‘Mr. President, sir, you just conquered a neighboring country! What are you going to do next?’
Probably not a nice guy to be around when things are going poorly
“Then I would have smiled and say, ‘I’m going to Disney World!'” Putin then reportedly stomped his feet, cursed, and ordered an assassination attempt on Mickey Mouse.
With the invasion of Ukraine not going as planned, Putin reluctantly has called off the ad. The camera crew following him around for the past week has been sent home. [Ed.: Or to Siberia.]
Should he compromise and just go to Disneyland Paris? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: Aw, is Vlad going to miss out on his parade down Main Street USA? Photo by Darcy [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr, Kremlin.ru [CC BY 3.0] via Wikimedia, and [CC0] via Pexels.com. Yes, it cracks us up that we’re using a Kremlin photograph.