Page 50 – Uncle Walt's Insider

Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for July 19

Here's what you missed while doing something much less important!  Appearing this past week on Uncle Walt's Insider: Monday (STEP) MOMS PANEL: DO YOU STEAL YOUR QUESTIONS FROM OTHER PLACES? - The (Step)Moms have been accused of a lot of things over the years. A lot of them are true, but this? Tuesday KAEPERNICK'S DISNEY DEAL: MILLIONS PER YEAR TO SIT ON BENCHES - "This job is definitely in his comfort zone," according to his agent. Wednesday DISNEY: GATORS ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE FACE MASKS - We can see ... Read more
Epic Escanaba Universe in da moonlight. Concept art courtesy Universal.

Universal’s Epic Universe to relocate to Escanaba, Michigan

Soon, Escanaba will be just like Orlando! But slightly colder. ORLANDO, FL -- Following an announcement that construction on their new "Epic Universe" theme park had been halted, Universal Orlando hit us with another surprise. Rather than being the third park [Ed.: Universal claims it would be their fourth, but a warmed-over version of Wet 'n' Wild is not a theme park.] in the company's Florida portfolio, they'll be building the Epic Universe park just outside of Escanaba, Michigan. Escanaba? Seriously? Escanaba? Seriously. They ... Read more
Dreamfinder and Figment infected? No surprise -- they aren't ever socially distanced from each other! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Dreamfinder and Figment in quarantine due to Covid-19

They're normally inseparable, so we imagine (get it?) quarantine together won't be too difficult. EPCOT, FL -- As the parks prepare to re-open, Disney has started to share what attractions, restaurants, and characters will be available. But notably missing from this list is Dreamfinder and Figment! Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for details. Innooooculation, innooooculation... "Sadly, yes, Dreamfinder and Figment will not be available. While HIPPA prevents us from discussing the details, I'll tell ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: New ways to have fun at Walt Disney World

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Now that Walt Disney World is back open, do you have any advice for having fun there?" - Edwin S., Roanoke VA Walt: Hi Eduardo, thanks for asking. Not really, all of the fun has been sucked out of everything. Marty: Can't totally agree, ... Read more
Not suitable to be worn at Walt Disney World. At least not as a mask. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

Disney: Gators are not acceptable face masks

We tried wearing a gator as a face mask. It wasn't comfortable. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney officials are hard at work learning about potential guest behavior during their phased re-opening of the parks. Based on their observations, Disney has modified their face mask policy, banning the wearing of gators as face masks. This is news you will only read at Uncle Walt's Insider. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) shared the following: Follow the bouncing virus "During this phased re-opening, we ... Read more