Page 50 – Uncle Walt's Insider
The Golden Gate Bridge, Texas-bound? Photo by Prabhanjankumarnandyala [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Golden Gate Bridge will flee California for Texas

Where will it end? SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- It started with hundreds of thousands of residents leaving California. Then theme park Disneyland decided to leave, and was quickly followed by Knott's Berry Farm, SeaWorld, and Disney California Adventure. Now the first non-park landmark has announced its departure: the famous Golden Gate Bridge. The Golden Gate (the bridge) spokesperson Jun Gate (no relation) announced the plans to Uncle Walt's Insider. "Things are just getting nuts out here," said Gate (no relation). "I mean, when someone put ... Read more
The entrance to Disney formerly-California Adventure. Photo by Neon Tommy [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

With theme parks fleeing the state, Disney California Adventure remains undecided

"Who would want a 'California' park in a non-California state?" ANAHEIM, CA -- Once sister theme park Disneyland decided to leave California (quickly followed by Knott's Berry Farm and SeaWorld), Disney's California Adventure theme park was left in a quandary. "Sure, we'd like to leave," Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "especially since Disneyland took the parking garages with them. But we're a California-themed park. Everything about us screams 'California.' "Take a look at the theming: from ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: What do you think of all the theme parks leaving California?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What do you think of all the theme parks leaving California? How do I we they stop them from leaving?" - Gavin N., Sacramento CA Walt: Hi Glen, thanks for asking. I once made the mistake of letting Harriet borrow my car. ... Read more
This proves that SeaWorld is now in Texas. Photo by Tristanb [CC BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia.

BREAKING: SeaWorld relocates to San Antonio

Shamu is in Texas! Who knew? SAN ANTONIO, TX -- Uncle Walt's Insider has some breaking news that you will ONLY find here! Sometime during the Covid-19 shutdown, SeaWorld San Diego packed up and moved the entire operation to San Antonio, TX! The park is the latest to flee California for more normal states, after Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm announced moves earlier this week. Our very own Uncle Walt discovered this move while visiting San Antonio. Not a copy, but close "It's not ... Read more
The "Barners Statue" at Knotts Berry Farm.

Knotts Berry Farm joins Disneyland in fleeing California

The #2 fruit-themed park (behind San Francisco) is joining Dollywood in Tennessee. BUENA PARK, CA -- After Disneyland announced their move to Texas on Monday, another popular Southern California theme park is abandoning the state for greener pastures. Knotts Berry Farm will soon leave California and join Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Knotts (the company) spokesperson Jon Knotts (no relation) shared, "It's a sad day for the Knotts family, as we must announce we are leaving California. The high taxes and high ... Read more