Page 60 – Uncle Walt's Insider
We're disappointed. We thought we'd be able to see the potato. Photo [CC0] via Pikist.

Potato cam, more coming soon to Disney+

The scratchy VHS transfer of Phantom should bring in a lot of new subscribers! BURBANK, CA -- Following an increase in subscriptions, likely due to the release of Hamilton, Disney+ has announced several new titles which will be added in the coming months. (For those of you who have been hiding under a rock, Disney+ is Disney's streaming service where you can stream movies, TV movies, and ... yeah, that's about it.) A bulleted list! Here are some of the highlights that have been ... Read more
The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution is on the warpath. Wait, can we say 'warpath'? Photo Public Domain.

Walt Disney canceled? Name to be removed from parks and movies worldwide

We kind of figured this would have to happen eventually. BURBANK, CA -- Officials at the Company announced today that they are erasing 's name from films, theme parks, and products world-wide. (the company) spokesperson Jun (no relation) shared the reasoning. " was a backwards thinker. And he had a major part in creating things that can never see the light of day again, including Song of the South, Nazi-loving Donald Duck, and cream cheese-filled pretzels. Because of this, ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Is Splash Mountain a “classic”?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms*: Would you all consider Splash Mountain a 'classic' at Magic Kingdom? In one of my non-Facebook groups, a girl is trying to tell me that it's not a classic because it's not old. The problem is that it's been ... Read more
Poster for "Hamilton Live! Featuring the Muppets." Image © 2020 Disney (perhaps modified. A bit).

Hall of Presidents to be replaced with “Hamilton Live! Featuring the Muppets”!

It combines two things everyone loves: Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Miss Piggy as Angelica (and maybe Eliza, too). BAY LAKE, FL -- The Walt Disney Company has announced yet another major change coming to the Magic Kingdom, this time in Liberty Square. The venerable Hall of Presidents is scheduled to be replaced with a puppet show about a Secretary of the Treasury. That's right. The Hall of Presidents is being replaced by Hamilton, as portrayed by the Muppets. Something about Corporate Synergy Josh D'Amaro, Chairman ... Read more
Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

Cinderella Castle vandalized, painted pink

Just one more thing to clean up after the Main Street Autonomous Zone. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Disney officials are scrambling after discovering Cinderella Castle was painted pink at some point during the shutdown. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our reporter. "Since we've all been working at home, including our maintenance teams, no one has been seen the castle since March!" Prep for reopening Disney (no relation) continued, "The Bobs told the parks they should probably get ready for ... Read more