Page 62 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Disney's new Lion Tiger King live remake. Photo of cuddly kitty cats [Public Domain. Photo of slightly cuddly Dwayne Johnson by Eva Rinaldi [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia. Photo of not-so-cuddly Hillary Clinton by Gage Skidmore [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Carole Baskin will sponsor new Animal Kingdom attraction

This is something the people are clamoring for, right? ANIMAL KINGDOM, FL -- Uncle Walt's Insider is pleased to bring you this exclusive announcement from Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation): "Hey all you cool cats and kittens [Ed.: Shoot us now.], Jun Disney (the spokeswoman) [Ed.: no relation] from the Disney (the company) Company here to tell you all about a wild new sponsor coming to the Animal Kingdom Park at Walt Disney World Resort, Spa & Outlet Mall! Next: "Big ... Read more
Emperor Palpatine, before he died. We think. Photo © Lucasfilm.

Emperor Palpatine died of Covid-19

In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU -- A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement "The First Order sadly announces that our beloved Emperor Palpatine's passing was due to complications of Covid-19. "While it is true he engaged in a glorious battle with a talentless young girl, only to ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Where do you come down on the mask debate?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Where do you come down on the whole mask debate?" - Anthony F., Washington DC   Baby Yoda: Baby Yoda: Marty: Make up your mind. Baby Yoda: Walt: Hi Tony, thanks for asking. You have the right not to wear one, but a business has the right to ... Read more

Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for July 26

Here's what you missed while doing something much less important!  Appearing this past week on Uncle Walt's Insider: Monday (STEP) MOMS PANEL: CAN A DISNEY PARKS MOMS PANEL REJECT JOIN THE (STEP)MOMS? - Ha ha ha ha ha... Oh, way, she's serious. The (Step)Moms give this request the answer it needs. Tuesday PRE-PACKAGED SANDWICHES AT EPCOT FOOD & WINE FESTIVAL - The fabulous international food might be a little less fabulous this year. Wednesday BREAKING: HAUNTED MANSION COVID OVERLAY? - Sure, the virus is scary, but there's no ... Read more
"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!" Photo by Random UWI Fan, used with permission. We think.

Mariachi ‘invasion’ of America Gardens Theatre prompts new border wall

The President vowed to get right on this. EPCOT, FL -- Walt Disney World guests, already reeling from so many changes, found a new disturbance at EPCOT's World Showcase. The America Pavilion's normal patriotic music, backed by the incredibly talented Voices of Liberty, has been replaced by the sounds of mariachi. Tensions were already running high in World Showcase, what with the UK Pavilion pulling out, the invasion of the French Pavilion, and the protests after Applebee's took the riblets off the menu ... Read more