The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step)Moms: What are the qualifications for joining the (Step)Moms Panel? And how do I apply?” – Nance G., Grafton MA
Walt:
Hi Nancy, thanks for asking. We’ll just need a financial statement, including six months of pay stubs, as well as your last two tax returns. Thanks!!
Marty:
And bank account numbers, bank routing numbers, date of birth, Social Security number, and mother’s maiden name.
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
X:
Can you post basically the same answer to every question? Yes? Ok. You’re at least as qualified as Harriet.
Marty:
Hey, guys… er, “(Step)Moms”… Ub tells me he’s refusing to answer this question. In fact, he doesn’t want his name associated with this article at all. He emailed me this:
“What kind of question is this? I am not going to answer this. I can’t stand Nancy Grace or any of the shows she’s been on, and I won’t support her working for us. I mean, you could call her the original Karen, and you’d be correct.
“So please don’t tell her how easy it is to be a (Step) Moms Panel member. Please don’t let her see that we pretty much let anyone in, regardless of their qualifications. Don’t allow her to have the knowledge that we’re all just winging it here, that none of us has actually been to a theme park in our lives.
“Because even with all that, we are above her style of reporting. We at least go for some truth in our stories. If we’re ever on a live satellite call with someone on the air, you’ll never see a bus drive behind us, and seconds later behind the interviewee. Because while our respect for our readers and their intelligence may not be all that high, at least there is a level of respect, unlike Nancy.”
So I’ll run the article without any answer from Ub, I guess.
Baby Yoda:
Marty:
Exactly.
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