Page 40 – Uncle Walt's Insider
I'll never let go, Jack. Er, I mean Mickey. Photo [CC0] via Pxfuel & clipart-library.

Disney Magic to be sunk, turned into artificial reef

Why don't they ever sink ships to create natural reefs? PORT CANAVERAL, FL -- The Disney Magic is the latest victim of the Covid-19 shutdown. Disney Cruise Line announced today that the Magic, the first cruise ship in the Disney fleet, will be sunk and turned into an artificial reef. With the high cost of maintaining the ship during the cruise industry shutdown, the write-off will help boost Disney's bottom line. I own a share of Disney. Why don't I get these calls? Robert "Bob" Chapek, CEO, and ... Read more
UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: WDW without Fastpasses or dining reservations?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: So now we know when Walt Disney World is reopening. But I also understand that all Fastpasses and dining reservations have been cancelled. How's it all going to work now?" - Sandra P., Bangalore, India Harriet: Just don't go to Walt ... Read more
Uncle Walt's Insider Week in Review

Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for May 31

Here's what you missed while doing something much less important!  Appearing this past week on Uncle Walt's Insider: Monday (STEP) MOMS PANEL: BEST ACTIVITIES WHILE WAITING FOR THE PARKS TO REOPEN! - The (Step)Moms show you how we're passing the time. You will regret it. Tuesday BREAKING NEWS: UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER TO CLOSE PERMANENTLY - Wait, what? They should tell the Facebook blurb writer, right? Or have we been hacked? Wednesday CORRECTION: UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER IS NOT CLOSING PERMANENTLY - We know this is a shock to our ... Read more
What exactly are the mask's ear loops holding on to? Photo by Kjaergaard [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

SeaWorld Orlando reopens June 11, won’t sell off their animals after all

What exactly are Shamu's mask's ear loops holding on to?  ORLANDO, FL -- Looks like SeaWorld's animals will get to swim around some more. Our taste buds' loss is their gain. Interim SeaWorld CEO Marc Swanson (of Swanson TV dinners fame) presented their plans to the May 27th Orange County Economic Recovery Task Force (M27OCERTF, as all the kids call it). SeaWorld has canceled the sale of their animals to the Gorton's Fisherman and will re-open the parks. The plan is very ... Read more
This will keep the Castle from being infected with guests. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Walt Disney World reopens July 11th, 2025!

2025? Sounds like they're rushing into this. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney announced plans for the reopening of Walt Disney World at the May 27th Orange County Economic Recovery Task Force ("M27OCERTF"). A "phased reopening" of the parks will begin in just over five years! Jim McPhee (brother to Nanny McPhee), Senior Vice President of Operations for Walt Disney World, presented the plans. McPhee broke out into song --one written, of course, by Disney Legend Richard Sherman. It was a catchy number, ... Read more