Feet: the original “people mover.”
MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — Just in time for the amazing summer weather in Florida, officials at Walt Disney World have re-opened the Tomorrowland Transit Authority Peoplemover — after the installation of sidewalks.
Disney (the company) spokesthey [Ed.: What?] Jun Disney (no relation) spoke with our imbedded reporters [Ed.: What exactly are they imbedded in? And is it toxic?], exclaiming, “After a lengthy downtime of over one year, the future of transportation is here!”
“The new TTA Peoplemover is going futuristic with our sidewalks!” continued Disney (no relation). “Guests will enjoy their leisurely stroll around Tomorrowland and through classic attractions such as Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin and, uh… yeah, that’s really it, isn’t it? I guess they can also look at the cars, and that rollercoaster track storage building we’ve put up. At least the walkway is shaded!”
Shoes will be optional, and guests will be asked to keep moving and not stop along the way for pictures, eating, drinking, spitting, or urinating off the side of the sidewalk, even if that jerk Steve is down there. One-way only traffic will keep guests in line and allow for smooth travel on this exciting “Walkway in the Sky.”
We can’t wait to walk even more! What about you? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: TTA converts to pedestrian-only attraction. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.