Page 18 – Uncle Walt's Insider
If he'd stuck around longer, he could have taken advantage of Magical Funerals® by Disney! Photo public domain, via Wikimedia.

BREAKING: Walt Disney has passed away at age 65

So that's why he hasn't been returning our calls. BURBANK, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider has just learned that Walter Elias "Walt" Disney has passed away. He was 65 years old. Disney, who started with a mouse, built a multimedia empire of family entertainment that includes films, tv networks, theme parks, and many, many plush toys. He is also widely credited with the invention of the churro. The family will hold held a private internment ceremony at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California.  [Ed.: ... Read more
Artist's conception of Chapek arriving at the Uncle Walt's Insider Headquarters in Svalbard. Most of the photo and its various elements © Disney.

Bob Chapek applies to write for Uncle Walt’s Insider

Would you hire this man? UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- An Uncle Walt's Insider staff member who would like to remain anonymous (Ub Skrewi) has revealed that Bob "Bob" Chapek, CEO of ABC/Disney, recently applied to write for Uncle Walt's Insider! "It was the most bizarre thing," said Skrewi. "I was working in the front office, and Bob 'Bob' Chapek walked in with an application to come to write for us. Which is especially weird, since we don't have any applications." [Ed.: And ... Read more
Hail Hydra Campus! Concept art © Disney © Marvel 2020, modified a wee bit.

Votes don’t lie: Avengers Campus to close, be replaced by Hydra Campus

We suspect the campus was already infiltrated. ANAHEIM, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that the Avengers Campus at California Adventure will soon close and be rebranded as "Hydra Campus." While this may shock to those who enjoyed Avengers Campus, dismal feedback from a poll is behind the change. We reached out to Disney (the company) Spokesbabe Jun Disney (no relation) to find out more. More "We normally target these sort of marketing surveys," Disney (no relation) told us, "but in this day ... Read more
Returning soon to a Disney park near you! Photo by pbev pbev pbev pbev pbev (seriously) [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Disney Parks bring back ride coupon books

Because everything old is new again... if it brings in $$. BR'ER BANK, CA -- In his quest to find a way to charge guests extra for dang near everything, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek announced today that Disney ride coupon books are returning. For the 98% of Disney fans alive today who have never seen one, a coupon book was an additional purchase above and beyond park admission. The booklet would contain various numbers of tickets with letters, and guests would need ... Read more
More fees for Walt Di$ney World? Photo via Pixabay, modified.

Free things Disney will never charge extra for!

Finally, a list of some positive things about Disney! BR'ER BANK, CA -- We at Uncle Walt's Insider have given The Disney Company and Bob "Bob" Chapek some grief about all of their recent extra-cost experiences. While, yes, they do give the impression that Disney is trying to squeeze every shiny dime out of their guests, there are some positive things to report. You see, there are some things at Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas that are completely free to guests. Not only ... Read more