Page 22 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Any risk is totally worth the reduced-price Disney-branded adhesive bandage, right? Photo by freeimageslive.co.uk [CC BY 3.0].

Disney-branded Covid-19 vaccine approved for children

This isn't just another Disney cash grab, is it? Nah. BURBANK, CA - Disney has won FDA approval for its own branded Covid-19 vaccine, the company announced yesterday. The new vaccine will be marketed toward children under the age of 12, and also to adults who act like children under the age of 12. Initially, the company will target markets in Washington State, Oregon, California, and New York; that is, states where the government is willing to be authoritarian combined with a majority ... Read more
We can't wait for the new Mickey+ service, where you're charged for meeting the characters! Background [CC0 1.0] via stock-free.org; Genie+ logo by Disney.

Genie+ isn’t the end of new Disney upcharges – shareholders cheer!

We'd write a subheadline, but we're afraid Disney will charge us for it. BURBANK, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider previously reported (with 100% accuracy) that it was coming, but now Disney has now officially announced the new "Genie" service. The Genie app eliminates all those annoying free features that investors hated and brings in a new era of pay-to-play to the Disney parks. This revenue-generating service (again, first announced here at UWI) will eliminate FastPass, FastPass+, MaxPass, MaxPass+, and FastPass+-++-++. [Walt.: Marty, ... Read more
You know we wear it as a badge of honor when Snopes debunks us, right? Photo source: Snopes.com.

Snopes co-founder to write for Uncle Walt’s Insider? Nah.

Hey, we make stuff up, too, but we still have standards. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- David Mikkelson, newly-unemployed co-founder of the "Snopes.com" "fact-checking" "website" may be looking for a new place to write. But it won't be at Uncle Walt's Insider. While some may think it's a great fit -- writing under an assumed name, making stuff up, plagiarism -- we really can't see it working out. For as both of our regular readers know, we strive at all times to ... Read more
Artist's rendering of the site of Disneyland Kabul, before the fall. Photo by Sven Dirks via Wikimedia & BloomyLiahona via DeviantArt, both [CC-BY-SA-3.0].

Plans for Disneyland Kabul “on hold” for now

Probably a good call, considering. BURBANK, CA -- The Disney Company announced today that its plans for a Disneyland-style theme park in Kabul, Afghanistan, have been placed on hold for the foreseeable future. The press release did not provide specific reasons for the delay, but sources inside the company say that Afghans on the project are too busy trying to flee the country to continue work at this time. We reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for comment, ... Read more
Totally not fake before and after photos of this guy. Churro photo by Mark Mitchell [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr; Before photo [CC BY-NC-ND 3.0] from probaway.com; After photo Public Domain via Wikimedia.

California man loses 350 pounds on the Churro Diet!

Really? This type clickbait headline is what Uncle Walt's Insider has sunk to? GARDEN GROVE, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider recently learned of a man who lost 350 pounds on the Churro Diet! This is his story. Tom "Tommy" Thomason (pictured above, maybe) started his weight loss journey in late 2019, vowing to make use of his Disneyland Annual Pass to walk the parks daily and only eat one churro a day. While some would say this diet lacked vitamins and any ... Read more