The Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I found an article on your website about Disneyland Pyongyang. Like, North Korea, right? Is that actually a thing? Would you recommend going there?” – Jareth Ryba, Grand Island NE
Hi Jared, thanks for asking.
Yes, I visit twice a year. Kim always joins me; that guy can put away some churros. I thought Marty could, but man, ole KJI is a machine! Although once he threw up after consuming around 100 at one sitting, and they killed the poor guy that cooked them, but hey, that’s show business baby.
I must agree with Walt.* Disneyland Pyongyang is absolutely the greatest theme park anywhere in the world; the food is always much better than you can find in any Imperialist American park; and guests flourish under the benevolent stewardship of Dear Leader Kim Jong Il as he leads the world into glorious self-reliance under Eternal Leader Kim Il Sung’s brilliant and revolutionary Juche philosophy.
*I mean it: “I must agree.” They have my wife and kids.
The friendly folks at the North Korea convention and tourist board have advised us that it is wise to give a hearty recommendation for Disneyland Pyongyang. All hail the supreme leader.
Ub:Hi Kim. What a weird question! Of course North Korea, known locally as the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DKRP), is actually a thing.
To prove that DKRP is real, here is a beautiful image taken from the International Space Station of the lovely nighttime tranquility of the DKRP, while the surrounding countries have to put up with all that light pollution due to having rampant electricity.
What horror! Why would you ever want to live in any of the surrounding nations? How can you sleep with that much light? In those countries you probably have to buy curtains for your windows. In the DKRP, you probably don’t, which is nice since your windows are probably just holes in the wall.
Now, obviously, in Pyongyang, where Disneyland Pyongyang is located, which makes the naming fairly logical, you probably still need curtains. Being located in the capitol city of DKRP, they have power at least 50% of the time. But that’s okay, you see, because you’re at Disneyland Pyongyang, the least crowded Disney park in the world.
Just don’t go to North Korea. Seriously, don’t.
But if you do go, please check up on my wife and kids.
Do you have a question for the step-planDisney (Step)Moms? Click here to submit a question!