Page 23 – Uncle Walt's Insider
We can't wait to visit Apple, Oklahoma! Photo [CC-BY-2.0] via eoi.es.

Apple to acquire Disney

We assume the deal includes the parks. City parks, that is. CUPERTINO, CA -- In a recently leaked memo from CEO Tim "Bob" Cook, it appears that Apple, the first company to hit $3 Trillion in valuation, is poised to spend some of their stockpiled cash on acquiring Disney! Fans of Mickey Mouse dismayed by our misleading headline need not worry, however. In the leaked memo, Cook allegedly says, "Disney, Oklahoma, has a low population, and our research has shown that it would ...
January 8, 2022 by Walt in Other
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Kisserella Castle at Hershey Kingdom Park in Orlando. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

Hershey buys Magic Kingdom

Chapek: "Hey, it makes money for the shareholders." HERSHEY, PA -- In a joint press conference, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek and Hershey President & CEO Michele Buck announced yesterday that Disney will be selling the Magic Kingdom theme park to Hershey. "It's a win-win, as far as I see," Chapek said. "Hershey gets the number one theme park destination in the world. And Disney gets money. Lots and lots of money!" Just the beginning Chapek hinted that more sell-offs were in the works. "Oh, not ...
January 5, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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LittleKnownFacts-Club33

33 (give or take twenty) little-known facts about Club 33!

Our little-known facts series continues, in spite of underwhelming demand! We recently had an Actual ReaderTM [Ed.: We keep forgetting we have those] write to our Step-planDisney (Step)Mom's Panel, asking about how to get in to dine at Club 33. We, of course, were able to help her immensely (mainly by lowering her expectations). In the process, we revealed that each and every one of us on the Uncle Walt's Insider staff has dined at Club 33, which, as you can imagine, ...
January 2, 2022 by Marty in California, Spotlight
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: How can a non-member get in to Club 33?

The Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I love your page! Disneyland is my happy place. I will turn 60 in three years and want to have dinner at Club 33. Is that totally impossible? Any suggestions? Thanks, Sonya/Cricket" Walt: Hi Charles, thanks for asking. The answer is ...
December 30, 2021 by Marty in step-planDisney
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Now just humming a Disney song makes me want to spend money on non-Disney stuff. Good job, Chapek! Photo [CC0] via anyrgb.com & etsy.com.

Other Disney songs advertising non-Disney products

We fear the Coca-Cola ad is only the beginning. What's that? A cheery instrumental version of Chim Chim Chiree is coming from your TV? It must be a new commercial for Walt Disney World! Except it's not -- it's an ad for Coca-Cola. And then you hear Bear Necessities... in an ad for Door Dash? What's going on? Your ears do not deceive you -- you actually have heard Disney songs popping up in non-Disney places. Which means one thing: Disney CEO Bob ...
December 27, 2021 by Marty in Other
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