Page 3 – Uncle Walt's Insider
The detached head of Figment, now on sale at Mouse Gear, er, the Creations Shop. Photo courtesy viajandoparaorlando.com.

Bob Chapek beheads Figment in a fit of rage

Then they attached a strap and sold it in the Creations Shop! EPCOT, FL -- Tragedy has struck in the midst of the 40th anniversary celebration of EPCOT Centre. During a show celebrating all things Epcot, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek reportedly became angry as Walt Disney's name was mentioned over and over, while no one acknowledged Chapek's contributions to the park. (Those "contributions" include scaled back offerings, price increases, and overall lowering the value of park admission.) Shockingly, when Chapek's anger reached ... Read more
UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: No membership stuff from D23; who do I call?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I joined D23 but have not received anything. Who do you suggest I contact for a real answer??" - Melanie Campbell, Kansas City, MO Walt: Hi Mel, thanks for asking. D23? Not familiar with that, I’ll have to look into it.  Marty: Hello, Belle! ... Read more
Not photoshopped. We use GIMP. Image by Disney. (Mostly.)

Top surprise announcements at the D23 Expo

Disney's going all in on... whatever the latest thing is. Sorry, we haven't read the article yet. ANAHEIM, CA - The yearly D23 Expo in Anaheim is always the source of juicy news, and as usual, Uncle Walt's Insider is full of it! Here are some of the biggest announcements from Disney this year: TRON Lightcycle Run's opening day announcement date announced The new Magic Kingdom attraction's opening date will be announced by September 3 of next year! Or maybe that was when they ... Read more
Bob "Bob," about to take his toys and go home. Photo by elisfkc2 [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney files papers to replace Disney name with Chapek’s

We can't wait to visit Walt, er, Bob Chapek World! BURBANK, CA -- A recent SEC filing reveals that Disney intends to replace the Disney name with "Chapek" worldwide, after its current CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. The name change will include the parks, studios, subsidiaries, individual departments, as well as the corporation name itself.  Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for more information. More "discussed" than "Disney." Or is that "disgust"? "Yes, boys, it is true," Disney ... Read more
Queen Elizabeth. [Walt: It's supposed to be a picture of the actual Queen Elizabeth II, not a ship.] [Marty: Then you should have provided context. You can't expect me to actually read the article.] [Walt: You literally wrote it!]. Public Domain.

BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth passes away; Disney’s UK Pavilions worldwide to close

Pictured: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Brits and anglophiles worldwide are mourning the passing of the United Kingdom's Queen Elizabeth II. Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that Disney parks worldwide will be closing down their respective U.K. Pavilions for a period of mourning, including the ones at Florida's EPCOT Centre (Disney: "They'll just have to go around"), California's California Adventure, and Disneyland Pyongyang. Uncle Walt's Insider offices will remain open; however, we will have "God Save the ... Read more