Even malfunctioning, it’s still more coherent than the real thing.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have “taken advantage of a unique time in history,” Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned.
“We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden,” said our source, who wishes to remain anonymous. Disney (no relation) continued, “And we have a Biden animatronic in the Hall of Presidents, and a resort in California that’s been shut down for almost a year.”
Maybe Knotts will pay Disney to get a similar order
“So we print up an document ordering Disneyland to reopen,” Disney (no relation) continued, “have the animatronic sign it, and we take pictures. Then we have our White House insiders slip the order into the stack of the other 379 [Ed.: And counting!] real executive orders. And just like that, Disneyland can reopen!”
Details are still pending, but Disney (no relation) suggests that Disneyland will reopen to the public on Monday, after a private event on Sunday just for annual passholders. Oh, wait.
What other orders should the animatronic sign? Comment below!
Cover photo: Our first robot president signs another diktat. Photo by WillMcC [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia / ABC News.