Marty, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider - Page 2 of 170

BREAKING: Bob Chapek in as new Twitter CEO

Well, he was available. SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- As promised, "Chief Twit" Elon Musk has honored the results of a poll of Twitter users and is stepping down as CEO of the social media company. And in confirming his departure, Musk also announced that recently-deposed Disney executive Bob "Bob" Chapek will be taking his place. "I was looking for someone who would continue to annoy both employees and customers," Musk explained, "and Chapek certainly has a strong history of doing just that." As his ... Read more
UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Will anyone from Uncle Walt’s Insider apply to be Disney CEO?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I think anyone from Uncle Walt's Insider would do a great job running Disney. Are any of you planning to apply to be CEO?" - Balbina Kumar, London, UK X: Hello Balbina. No. Despite the exorbitant salary, I have no interest in ... Read more
Bob "Bob," about to take his toys and go home. Photo by elisfkc2 [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Chapek Nov. 11: “We anticipate staff reductions”; Chapek today: “Dang it.”

Yay, Chapek's gone. Iger will be better. He will be better, right? Hello? BR'ER BANK, CA -- Only days after declaring that the struggling Disney Company would be facing staff reductions, a dejected Bob "Bob" Chapek was seen leaving its headquarters with a box of personal belongings (we're assuming photos with Mickey and his favorite pieces of hate mail). Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) claims the firing of Chapek as CEO was just a bit of bad luck. "He was trying ... Read more
Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk to purchase Uncle Walt’s Insider

He wanted to buy the Babylon Bee, but that's actually worth something. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Fresh off his purchase (and purge) of Twitter, billionaire Elon Musk announced today his plans to purchase Uncle Walt's Insider. The move comes after his first attempt to buy a news satire site, The Babylon Bee, fell through, due to the Bee "actually being worth something." While the final purchase details for Uncle Walt's have not been disclosed (unlike Twitter, U.W.I. is not a publicly ... Read more
UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Can you use a churro as a straw?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Can you use a churro as a straw?" - Universal Orlando Resort Walt: Hi Universal Orlando Resort, thanks for asking. We’ve actually tested this in our totally unique, and certainly not copied, Uncle Walt’s Insider Food Blog. And yes, yes you can.  Marty: Uh, Walt, ... Read more