Other Archives - Page 10 of 44 - Uncle Walt's Insider
A sign on the Walt Disney Company headquarters. Photo by Utilizer [CC-BY-SA-4.0] via Wikimedia.

Amid Coronavirus fears, Disney selling off key assets

We can't believe they're letting these properties go! BURBANK, CA -- The Walt Disney Company is apparently having budget shortfalls, what with the extended closure of Hong Kong Disneyland and Shanghai Disney Resort over concerns about COVID-19 (Coronavirus). Consequently, they have announced that they would be selling off some assets. Newly appointed CEO Bob "Bobby Cutbacks" Chapek sent out a press release announcing the sales.  List of items for sale Uncle Walt's Insider staff carefully read through the 38 page list of assets that ... Read more
The next Einstein? Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

Medical journal: Goofy is actually a genius?

Have we been underestimating the lovable man-dog-thing all these years? BALTIMORE, MD -- According to a study published in the New Old England Journal of Medicine, Goofy is not the bumbling fool that we've all thought he was. In fact, he's actually a genius! The author of the study, a fellow at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and Spa, says the conclusion was made after carefully studying every Goofy cartoon ever made. While the paper is filled with medical jargon that ... Read more
Ub's Analysis

Ub’s Analysis: the Finding Nemo Cupcakes have got to go

In which we give Ub space to express an opinion publicly. This can't be good. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD - Have you seen the new Finding Nemo Creamsicle cupcake? All I can say is, “Ewww.” Let’s face it. They’ve been trying to make eating Finding Nemo characters a thing ever since someone caught the chef at Coral Reef putting Pacific blue tang caviar on various dishes. Some say it actually came from Dory, but she couldn’t remember when asked. But this new ... Read more
From Disney CEO Bob to From Disney CEO Bob. Picture © 2020 Disney.

BREAKING: All future Disney CEO’s to be named “Bob”

Bob Iger passes on the secret handshake and the keys to Walt's cryogenic vault to Bob Chapek. BURBANK, CA -- With the naming of Bob "Robert" Chapek as the new CEO of the Disney Company, the tradition continues of having only people named "Bob" as the chief executive for the company. Rooted in a desire to honor the company's founder, Bob "Walt" Disney, the tradition first really took hold with the naming of Bob "Michael" Eisner in 1984 and his replacement Bob ... Read more
Official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring campaign falters in NH after Iowa accusations

Sources say the Earring helped design the Iowa Caucus app. CONCORD, NH -- After a strong showing in last week's Iowa caucuses, Joe Rohde's Earring only finished second in yesterday's New Hampshire primary. The dangly presidential candidate finished with 18% of the vote, trailing Democratic front-runner Cory Booker. The stumble came as news of a potential scandal broke. Allegations have surfaced accusing the Earring of having a hand (so to speak) in the creation of the disastrous Iowa Caucus app. Uncle Walt's Insider ... Read more