In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU — A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement “The First Order sadly…
![We're disappointed. We thought we'd be able to see the potato. Photo [CC0] via Pikist.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/disney-plus-potato-plant-cam-768x403.jpg)
The scratchy VHS transfer of Phantom should bring in a lot of new subscribers! BURBANK, CA — Following an increase in subscriptions, likely due to the release of Hamilton, Disney+ has announced several new titles which will be added in the coming months. (For those of you who have been hiding under a rock, Disney+…
![Meet Mickey's new voice! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr, & Pxhere.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/mickey-mouse-new-voice-actor-768x403.jpg)
It’s only right. BURBANK, CA — As you may have read, Disney property The Simpsons will now have characters voiced only by actors of the same race as their fictional counterparts. Apart from the company scrambling to find yellow actors, they now say that they are extending the policy to non-human characters. Yes, from now…
![Covie, starring in Disney-Pixar's "VIRAL" in 2021. Photo by Mikhail Denishchenko [CC0] via publicdomainpictures.net, modified.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/covie-starring-in-pixars-viral-768x403.jpg)
It’s the story of a misunderstood virus just wanting to be loved. EMERYVILLE, CA — Disney Pixar Studios has announced a new feature film release for 2021: “VIRAL.” A press release for the film describes the protagonist as “Covie, a young virus struggling with loneliness, in a world that wants nothing to do with him.”…
![Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/goofy-one-day-as-ceo-768x403.jpg)
Goofy wasn’t fit to be Disney CEO. His name isn’t Bob. BURBANK, CA — Mickey Mouse is back. After announcing his retirement yesterday, the Mouse “pulled an Iger” and announced his unretirement today. No formal reason was given. A source tells Uncle Walt’s Insider, however, that Goofy was a “disaster.” Anonymous sources Minnie Our source,…