Looks like we can unlock the stalls with our Magic Bands!
BR'ER BANK, CA -- Disney Grand Pooh-bah Bob "Bob" Chapek has found a new way to gouge guests raise revenue and please shareholders.
"Some of our executives thought we were running out of ways to bilk our... I mean, encourage spending in Disney parks," Chapek told Uncle Walt's Insider in an interview that we totally did not make up. "We've taken away free MagicBands, Fastpasses, luggage pickup and delivery, airline check-in and ...
We're already booking our plane tickets.
TOOWOOMBA, AUSTRALIA -- The government of Australia has figured out how to counter the protests against their aggressive anti-Covid policies: marketing.
"That's right," Down Under (the country nickname) spokesperson Jun Under (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "When we rip someone out of their home and ship them to a 'camp' based on a health scare, for some reason a lot of folks didn't like it. I mean, not just the ones we're locking up, but other ...
So many changes to keep up with. And some of them might make sense!
BR'ER BANK, CA - There have always been standards that Disney Cast Members have to meet.
For example, there once was a restriction against facial hair, except for a tasteful mustache on your face if your name was Walt and you founded the company. Then mustaches were allowed for female Cast Members. (We assume - we just saw a lot of them back in the day.) And now ...