Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: When will the Disney in Michigan open? I keep getting different dates. Or is this whole thing a hoax?" - Andrea DeBardelaben, Michigan
Dear Barbie, thank you for writing.
I hate to be the one to break this to you... but ...
Their Atlanta headquarters returns to its theme park roots.
ATLANTA, GA -- We at Uncle Walt's Insider don't typically cover the media. We leave that up to our sister site, the Babylon Bee. [DISCLAIMER: The Babylon Bee is NOT our sister site.]
But covering Disney and other theme park news is our arena. (Get that, Bee? Our arena. Stay in your lane, or we'll have to call Dad.) [DISCLAIMER: Still not our sister site.] So when CNN announces a theme park, we are on top ...
"It just seemed like the right time."
BR'ER BANK, CA -- The Disney Vacation Club announced today that a new DVC destination resort will be built on the shores of the Black Sea, in Odessa, Ukraine.
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "The Black Sea is already a very popular vacation destination for Europeans, and we've wanted to build there for a while."
Why now, we wondered?
"It just seemed like the right time," Disney (no relation) explained. "Property ...
We seem to recall reading that "the love of money is the root..." something, something.
PARIS, TEXAS FRANCE -- Disneyland Paris is going back to its roots. Beginning next week, the resort will change back to its original name: Euro Disneyland.
The change comes at the behest of beloved Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek, who took time away from protesting Florida anti-grooming laws to return to his primary passion: money.
"The original name was better," Chapek was maybe overheard to say. "I mean, ...
They probably shouldn't build it next to the Russia Pavilion.
WORLD SHOWCASE LAGOON, FL -- Bob "Bob" Chapek has announced that he intends to bring a new country to EPCOT: Ukraine! Chapek probably said this in a phone call with our own Uncle Walt.
"As I was counting money with the news playing in the background, I suddenly had this great and innovative idea come to mind. I phoned up the boys in Glendale, and after a quick discussion we have decided ...