World Archives - Page 10 of 32 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Disney Takes Manhattan. Photo [CC0] courtesy MaxPixel & FreeSVG.

Disney buys island of Manhattan

Hey, look what they were able to do with swampland in Florida! NEW YORK, NY -- The Island of Manhattan used to be the crown jewel of New York City. The streets were filled with cars and people rushing from place to place. It was a huge hub of the world economy -- and had some of the highest real estate rates in the world.  However, once the Coronavirus found its way out of China, economies collapsed. Businesses were forced to shut their doors, ... Read more
Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Marty’s trip report: Disneyland, August 2020

Come along with Marty as he visits Walt's original Magic Kingdom! UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- I'm so excited! Our boss is normally pretty tight on money, but after we grumbled about his visiting Walt Disney World recently, he's opening up the purse strings! He said that if I can get myself from Svalbard to Anaheim, he'll pay for any available Disneyland admission pass, up to five days!! Also, I get to write in the first person! Days 1 & 2 It's a grueling ... Read more
Epic Escanaba Universe in da moonlight. Concept art courtesy Universal.

Universal’s Epic Universe to relocate to Escanaba, Michigan

Soon, Escanaba will be just like Orlando! But slightly colder. ORLANDO, FL -- Following an announcement that construction on their new "Epic Universe" theme park had been halted, Universal Orlando hit us with another surprise. Rather than being the third park [Ed.: Universal claims it would be their fourth, but a warmed-over version of Wet 'n' Wild is not a theme park.] in the company's Florida portfolio, they'll be building the Epic Universe park just outside of Escanaba, Michigan. Escanaba? Seriously? Escanaba? Seriously. They ... Read more
The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution is on the warpath. Wait, can we say 'warpath'? Photo Public Domain.

Walt Disney canceled? Name to be removed from parks and movies worldwide

We kind of figured this would have to happen eventually. BURBANK, CA -- Officials at the Company announced today that they are erasing 's name from films, theme parks, and products world-wide. (the company) spokesperson Jun (no relation) shared the reasoning. " was a backwards thinker. And he had a major part in creating things that can never see the light of day again, including Song of the South, Nazi-loving Donald Duck, and cream cheese-filled pretzels. Because of this, ... Read more
Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Mickey’s retirement lasts less than one day

Goofy wasn't fit to be Disney CEO. His name isn't Bob. BURBANK, CA -- Mickey Mouse is back. After announcing his retirement yesterday, the Mouse "pulled an Iger" and announced his unretirement today. No formal reason was given. A source tells Uncle Walt's Insider, however, that Goofy was a "disaster." Anonymous sources  Minnie Our source, who wished to remain anonymous, giggled and said, "My sweetheart just was made to be the head guy. Everyone loves Mickey!" "Oh, sure, everyone loves Goofy, too, but not in the ... Read more